How to Talk Your Way Out of A Fight

Conflict and tension create dangerous situations. Arguments can lead to road rage and drive-by shootings, a complete range of violence that could be resolved simply by approaching an aggressive person differently. Using a peaceful approach may lead to both parties walking away from a fight and avoiding violence. Fighting is unnecessary, and most fights can be avoided, if not resolved, if one party takes the initiative to prevent escalation.

Instructions

Violence can lead to injury or death

1. Avoid inflammatory use of words: Every fight begins with conflict, which creates tension. The first step towards averting escalation is avoiding the use of inflammatory words. This is tough to do when your sensibilities have been challenged, but the alternative can be deadly. When someone uses hateful words, be the bigger person and realize it is much safer to keep a calm voice. Do not insult the person directly but speak to the issue and do not use inflammatory words.

2. Do not use the word “you” in any response to the person. The word “you” turns the argument into a personal attack. Instead, keep the discussion focused on your feelings and rather than saying, “You are...” change it to, “I feel this happened because…” or “I felt a lack of respect because…” By removing the accusation and replacing it with your own personal statement it does not come across as a threat. This technique helps keep the tension level low and sometimes the person will respond with a calm explanation.

3. Try to ignore or not comment on situations that could escalate into a fight. Consider a man who bumps into you for instance. A fight might initiate if you assume he meant to bump into you and say, “You didn’t have to push me like that.” The man may grow defensive. It could have been an accident. Often, a simple mistake turns into a violent encounter. A better approach would be to let it go. Commenting on the situation could escalate the conflict and ignoring can diffuse it. Think safety.

4. Remain calm. If your opponent insists on arguing, keep your cool. Do not lose your temper even if he insults you and raises his voice. If the other person appears to be working up anger, try to excuse yourself in a polite way. Sometimes avoiding what the other person is about to say if the best tact. This gives you the opportunity to calm down and tamp down the angry that is building inside of you. Walking away is your choice and objective. When you are dealing with strangers, this is the safest approach. You never know about the other person’s mental stability or if they are prone to violence. The person could have a weapon.

5. Remove yourself from the situation and try to remove the incident from your mind immediately and replace the scenario with a pleasant thought. Don't allow the fight to re-escalate. It is unhealthy to nurse these feelings and much safer to move on to more pleasant thoughts. This also allows you to go back to what you were doing and forget the experience.

6. Don't stoop to their level. If a person tries to challenge you with a physical battle, then walk away. Most people will not follow a person who walks away from a fight, but it’s always wise to be aware of your surroundings and the people around you.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember: All fights have the potential to turn violent. Violence can lead to death. It’s always better to avoid a fight than to risk your safety.