How to Date During a Separation

Dating during a separation can be an extremely tricky thing to do. On one hand, you do not want to wallow in the sadness of your current separation, and on the other, you don't want to rush into what's popularly known as a "rebound" romance. Although dating during a separation is never easy, it can also help you get through one of the hardest times in your life.

Things You'll Need

• strength
• discretion
• sensitivity
• courage

Instructions

Dating During a Separation

1. Think about your motives. Make sure your desire to date is for the right reasons. It's never a good idea to date someone just because you are uncomfortable with the idea of not being in a relationship. Trying to replace another person is always a futile task. Ask yourself if dating is what you really need right now and if you are ready to be around another person. Ask yourself if you are currently emotionally capable of making another human being feel happy and fulfilled.

2. Show sensitivity to your ex. Don't flaunt the fact that you are dating other people to your ex. It will only make your separation from them more difficult, as well as possibly make them feel sad and "replaced." There is no need to brag, if you are truly happy with your new dating situation, then you can keep it to yourself.

3. Don't make your new relationship all about your ex. Many people have a tendency to talk nonstop about their painful relationships and break-ups to their new partners. It's understandable that at first you might want to discuss the situation you are going through, but if you keep it going on too long, you might drive prospective partners away. When you are dating someone new, you want to make them feel special, not give them the impression that they are merely a successor to your ex-wife or ex-husband.

4. Take some time to yourself. It's really important when you are going through something as emotionally taxing and stressful as a separation that you take some time to be alone. Don't convince yourself that you have to rush into any relationships. It's often quite a healthy thing to set aside "you" time. Go for walks alone. Take up new hobbies. Go hiking through Europe. Spend some more time with your friends. Try to make lemonade out of lemons -- this is your time to focus on you, and nothing but you! Take advantage of it.

5. Don't get serious with anyone new too quickly! Since you are going through a painful separation, you are not in the right state of mind to be making a serious commitment to anybody. Take your time with dating and relationships. It is not necessary to jump into a new engagement or steady significant other. Have some fun. Date, meet new people, socialize, live a little! Life and relationships do not have to be a race.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are lonely and sad during a separation, dating is not the only solution. It's also a good idea to try to make new (platonic) friends. This might be a safer bet during this emotionally fragile period. And who knows? You could meet some of the best new friends of your life while you're at it.

• When going through a separation, people often have a tendency to be very emotionally fragile and touchy. Don't take your anger or sadness at your situation out on any new people you might date -- you could drive people away, and fast. No one wants to be around someone who acts hostile and bitter at the world.