How to Teach Social Strategies to Shy Kids

For a child who is shy, the world is sometimes a pretty scary place. Without the courage (and the know how) to interact freely with others and to speak up about their wants and needs, shy kids often lose out. The good news is that children can learn some strategies to help them through their shyness.

Instructions

How to Teach Social Strategies to Shy Kids

1. First, let your child know that almost everyone feels shy in certain situations. There is nothing wrong with feeling shy, and kids probably shouldn't call themselves "shy" or let others call them that, especially if there are times when they don't feel shy at all. For example, on a visit to grandma’s house, a familiar and safe haven, a child may never feel (or act) shy. Teach your child to visualize herself at grandma’s house—and then to use that visualization in circumstances when she needs it.

2. Then, help your child practice what he can do in situations where he might feel shy. For example, if he is invited to a party with many kids he doesn't know, you and your child might try acting out what it will be like at the party and talking about what kinds of things he could say to people he has just met.

3. Part of being shy is dealing with negative feelings about change and difference. Try varying little things at home. Have the child rearrange her room, for example, or do her homework in the back yard instead of at your desk. Try out various routines for Saturdays.

4. Let kids know that feeling shy doesn't mean you should avoid new situations. Explain that the more different kinds of places you go, the more different people you meet, and the more different kinds of activities you try, the less shy you will feel because the new will become familiar.

5. Positively reinforce attempts to overcome shy behavior. Make comments such as “I like the way you explained the school bus schedule to the new boy down the block and his mother. I know it’s hard for you to talk to people you don’t know, and you did a good job."

6. Suggest that sometimes when your child doesn't know what to say she might just smile. Explain that people will get the message that you're friendly without you having to say a word.