How to Lift Someone's Spirits

There is nothing complicated about being a nice person. The smallest gestures mean a lot to someone who could use some flattery or attention. It doesn't require an enormous amount of effort on the part of the person who is issuing the compliment. The only requirement is that you've got to be sincere. Don't resort to feigned kindness just so you can score points with the boss. If not meant sincerely, that amounts to fawning and toadying and that kind of behavior is generally very transparent. True kindness is not obsequiousness. The mark of an authentically caring person is someone who issues kind remarks just because it's a nice thing to do and not because she stands to benefit from it other than having lifted someones spirits, which is surely benefit enough.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Notice what your co-worker is wearing. Tell her that her blue sweater emphasizes her blue eyes. Tell him that he's looking dapper in his new suit. Comment on someones new haircut or the superlative way they've written a report. It takes all of five seconds and it makes other people feel good.

2. Be responsive and receptive when someone returns the favor and says something nice to you. Say ‘Thank you’, mean it, and leave it at that. Don’t ruin the affect by countering, "Oh, I really don’t think my hair looks good." Gracefully accept and appreciate the compliment.

3. Take a few seconds to single out the people who tend to be overlooked. That isn’t to say that you can’t be complimentary toward your superiors but you might consider the person who never receives any kudos and who would sincerely value a kind word or two. The boss is accustomed to getting rave reviews and pats on the back and glorious write ups in the newspaper, deserved or not. A compliment, even though it’s sincere, might not mean as much to that person as it will to the janitor or parking attendant who tends to fade into the background because his job, although important, isn’t high profile or glamorous.

4. Consider how good you feel when someone says something nice to you. Good work, Mary. Job well done. Great outfit. Thanks for the help. Most of us can get a lot of mileage out of a few kind words. Sometimes it gets us through an otherwise awful day. Wouldn’t you prefer being the one that Susan remembers when she gets home after a rough day?