How to Develop Individuality in Kids

Our individuality is central to who we are, or as Popeye so proudly put it, “I yam what I yam.” Teaching kids to appreciate their own uniqueness is one of the greatest gifts parents can give to their children, and celebrating and encouraging children’s individuality can happen in so many different ways.

Instructions

How to Develop Individuality in Kids

1. Give kids plenty of opportunities to express their opinions. Listen to what they have to say, and then give them the same kind of feedback you would give your business colleagues: "I totally agree!" or "You make some good points, but personally, I think . . . " or "I hear what you're saying, but I just can't agree at all because . . . "

2. Just as you can appreciate a child’s diverse opinions, respect differing preferences as well. If the family takes annual fishing trips but your child has no interest whatsoever, let his focus for the trip be drawing the scenery, or collecting rocks, or whatever else he would like to do while keeping the fishermen (and women) in the family company.

3. Encourage--and share in--your child's interests as they develop. Participate wholeheartedly in fossil hunting expeditions even if you have to be taught the difference between a trilobite and a brachiopod. Enthusiastically attend ice skating shows and watch every possible minute of the Winter Olympics with your budding Ice Capades star.

4. Allow your child adequate down time. Heavily programmed children become just that. Time alone allows for introspection and self-discovery. A child should not need to be asked “What were you doing?” whenever they spend time on their own.

5. Encourage creative activities. Drawing, collage-making, playing a musical instrument, making up stories, acting out plays and puppet shows, are all activities which result in kids learning some things not only about art but about themselves as well.

6. Give a good deal of thought to what degree you feel you should allow your child to make independent decisions about dress and hair styles, and then share those thoughts. Be certain that limits you set are not really only reflecting your own personal preferences.

7. Accept your child's friends for what they can bring into your child's life. Every way that a friend is different from your child is an opportunity for her to make decisions about who she is.