How to Help Teenagers Deal with Bullies

Bullies are a part of everyday life for some teenagers, and try as they might to defend themselves, a parent's or teacher's intervention is sometimes necessary to stop bullying. If your teenager or one of your students is a victim of bullying, it is important that you take the situation seriously.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Determine whether the teenager is the target of physical bullying or psychological. Although both can have serious consequences, bullies who use their fists against others present a much bigger threat than those who tease or call names.

2. Identify the situations in which the teenager deals with bullying. Some bullies target their victims in the lunch room or on the basketball court, while others wait for after-school venues, like a favorite hang-out or even the Internet.

3. Ask the teenager which bullies have been picking on him. Having names brings you one step closer to stopping the behavior, even if you don't address it directly. It is also a good idea to ask the teen how he feels about your intervention. In some cases, having a parent or teacher take charge is almost as painful as the bullying itself.

4. Discuss options with the teenager. By suggesting ways in which you can help the bullying stop, you might be able to reach a viable solution with which you are both comfortable. For example, teachers might want to remove teenagers from classes with their tormentors, while parents might be willing to call the school to inform administrators of the situation.

5. Encourage the teenager to stand up to bullies without resorting to violence. In many cases, a firm response will be sufficient to deter any further activity, but in others, an adult's intervention is required. Remind the victim that there are rules against fighting at school, and that she can get into as much trouble as the bully if she is caught throwing punches.

6. Take pictures of any injuries sustained from bullying. Additionally, write down the dates and times of incidents, and make sure to keep a log detailing the damages suffered. These records will be important should you have to file a report to the police, or file a lawsuit for medical bills.

7. Call the police if serious bullying doesn't stop. A teenager doesn't have the resources necessary to protect himself against bigger kids who want to do him harm. It is better to risk the embarrassment now than to suffer the consequences later.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't call the bullies' parents or contact the school until you have discussed different options with the teenager. It is best not to further humiliate the victim unless absolutely necessary.
• Realize that bullying can escalate rather quickly into full-scale violence, in which case someone can get seriously hurt.

Resources

• How To Assess the Effects of Bullying

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