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Step 1
Self-monitor your actions and tones. When you start to notice a habits or oddities that occur while you speak, write them down. This will help correct yourself when it comes down to it.
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Step 2
Be aware of how people see you. We all see ourselves one way, but others can see us in a different manner. Notice how people react to you while you speak.
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Step 3
Ask friends to help you determine where you're going wrong. They will know if you are sending any conflicting signals. If you feel comfortable, ask your colleagues as well. They see another side of you that your friends normally don't.
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Step 4
Videotape yourself while you speak. Make sure you are able to see at least your upper half. Notice any gestures, facial expressions, or tones that can conflict with the message you are giving with your words.
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Step 5
Adapt with the roles you have in your life. You act differently as a student and as a mother, for example. Be sure that your words, tones, actions, and gestures correlate with the environment and role that you are in at that time.
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Step 6
Once you understand the changes you need to install, make a conscious effort to see those changes through. Once you notice yourself slipping, double your efforts. With time, you will begin to see the difference you are making.
