Difficulty: Moderately Challenging
Step1
Understand how you value sexuality (and the expression of intimacy), what you sense to be appropriate sexual behavior, and what sexuality means to you. Because sexuality (and the many mores expressed within the broad borders of its meaning) will mean many different things to many different people, it is important that you examine the presumptions, perceptions and philosophies that define your understanding of sexuality. For some men and women, this will mean choosing to engage in protected sexual activity after reaching an appropriate age and level of maturity, while for others it will mean choosing not to engage in any sexual activity before marriage (as well as a myriad of other alternative choices in between).
Step2
Define your boundaries. Decide if you will abstain from all, or most, sexual activity (as you describe sex to be). Be confident and build a strong sense of self to assist you as you deal with new and potential relationship partners. To ensure that both your voice and your value system are respected, clearly outline for your relationship partner the reason(s) you have chosen to abstain from sex. (It is important to note that it is okay to just have a hunch or gut instinct about the matter. In fact, relying on your intuition is just as significant as relying on religious and or cultural dictations for abstaining from sex.)
Step3
Be confident in your decision and expect new relationship partners to experience an adjustment period; as being in a non-sexual relationship can be difficult for some men and women. To help your partner during this period of adjustment, try to bring his or her attention away from the sexual activity you choose not to engage in to the many alternative non-sexual forms of intimacy that you do. Use all, or some, of the following non-sexual forms of intimacy as a starting point in your conversation: Romantic picnic, Candle-lit dinner, Long walk along the beach at night, Night time swim at the beach, Hold one another in a long embrace, Sensual kissing, Write love letters, A shared bubble bath, Write a love song, Back and shoulder massage.
Step4
Think of the many ways abstinence will help you to lead a happier and healthier life as well as gain a more valuable sense of self. As you begin this thought process, use the following reason(s) to help guide you toward the reason(s) that are right for you: Abstinence places greater value on your sexuality; Abstinence allows you to avoid unwanted pregnancy and the risk of sexually transmitted disease; Abstinence allows you to experience greater levels of intimacy and connection with your partner; Abstinence promotes a stronger sense of self; Abstinence allows you to establish a belief system and way of living that only you can define; Abstinence helps you to set important life goals; Abstinence will allow you to grow and mature as a person; Abstinence helps you to avoid the many emotional heartache that can arise from having sex too young or before you are ready; Abstinence allows your body time to mature and develop; Abstinence allows you enjoy other aspects of your identity.
Step5
Set personal goals. Ask yourself: Will I abstain from sex until marriage or will I only abstain from sex for a certain period of time (or under specific circumstances). When abstaining from sex, it is important to know why and for how long. Will you wait until you are in a monogamous relationship? Will you wait until you are six months into a long term monogamous relationship? Ask yourself questions about your sexuality and why you are choosing to abstain from sex. The more you understand about your decision, the more able you will be to withstand pressures by others to change your mind. Good luck!
12th Annual Abstinence Clearinghouse Conference
Understand how you value sexuality (and the expression of intimacy), what you sense to be appropriate sexual behavior, and what sexuality means to you. Because sexuality (and the many mores expressed within the broad borders of its meaning) will mean many different things to many different people, it is important that you examine the presumptions, perceptions and philosophies that define your understanding of sexuality. For some men and women, this will mean choosing to engage in protected sexual activity after reaching an appropriate age and level of maturity, while for others it will mean choosing not to engage in any sexual activity before marriage (as well as a myriad of other alternative choices in between).
Define your boundaries. Decide if you will abstain from all, or most, sexual activity (as you describe sex to be). Be confident and build a strong sense of self to assist you as you deal with new and potential relationship partners. To ensure that both your voice and your value system are respected, clearly outline for your relationship partner the reason(s) you have chosen to abstain from sex. (It is important to note that it is okay to just have a hunch or gut instinct about the matter. In fact, relying on your intuition is just as significant as relying on religious and or cultural dictations for abstaining from sex.)
Novice 
