How to Avoid Power Struggles with a Child

Kids seem to have a repertoire of "hooks" they use to get their parents to argue with them. Here are some one-liners that will get parents off the hook and cause children to do more of the thinking. Remember, the one-liners are only effective when said with genuine compassion and understanding.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

How To Avoid Powe Struggles With a Child.

1. Implement the following phrases when communicating with your child: "Probably so.""I know.""Nice try.""I bet it feels that way.""What do you think you are going to do?"""I don't know." "What do you think?"

2. Insert these phrases when the situation allows: "Bummer." "How sad.""Thanks for sharing that.""Don't worry about it now.""That's an option.""I bet that's true."

3. Try these phrases to get your child to do some extra thinking: "Maybe you'll like what we have for the next meal better.""What do you think I think about that?""I'm not sure how to react to that. I'll have to get back to you on that.""I'll let you know what will work for me.""I'll love you wherever you live."

4. Turn your words around:Instead of: "Don't talk to me in that tone of voice." Try: "I'll listen as soon as your voice is as calm as mine is."Instead of "You're not going out without your coat." Try: "You may go out as soon as you have your coat."

5. Add enforceable statements.Instead of "Pay attention." Try: "I'll start a soon as I know you are with me."Instead of : "Don't be late coming home." Try: "I'll drive people to soccer practice who arrive home on time."

Tips & Warnings

• Remember, Love and Logic is built on three simple ideas: enforceable limits, choices and the consequences with empathy formula.