How to Discuss Child Support During Divorce

Families involved in divorce are facing one of the most emotionally stressed events. During such a traumatic experience, many attorneys and family counselors work to help parents iron out custody and support issues. Their goal is to prevent ill-feelings from making the divorce harder for the kids to experience. In child support situations, family practitioners stress that the support of a minor child is a mutual obligation. Both parents are required to contribute to the needs of their child(ren). Many states have adopted guidelines to compute the amount of support a parent must pay. In determining support amounts, courts will consider the involvement with the kids and income of both parents.When parents can not reach a mutually-beneficial agreement, the court will set the level of support based on several relevant factors. Court involvement can often increase hard feelings and resentments and therefore ironing out the support question in calm conversations is important.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Remember to think about the kids above anything else. When divorce is the order of the day, parents must do everything in their power to keep a degree of normalcy present for the children. Refusing child support to spite a former spouse hurts the children more than anything.

2. Be honest about the child's financial needs. Honesty decreases wage wars in divorce and prevents the intervention of a court mediator or judge who may rule more harshly. Consider education, after-school childcare, medical conditions and extra activities in determining the child's financial needs. Also consider things like how frequently children will need clothing, shoes and visits to stylists and barbers.

3. Consult with a family counselor. A counselor can help divorcing couples work through the emotional attachment to money; thereby the conversation can be more productive.

4. You should also consult with an experienced family law attorney to determine what your legal obligations are regarding child support.

5. View child support as your continuing parental responsibility to promote your child’s development and success. Doing so moves the focus away from support being used as a divorce ploy to actually caring for your child(ren).

Tips & Warnings

• Often couples going through a divorce are surprised to find that the minimum amounts described in most state child support guidelines are affordable. Some attorneys say, in cases where parents are amicably working out custody and support issues, they are actually willing to commit to higher support payments than the state requires.