How to Explain Divorce to Young Children

Finding a way to tell your kids that the structure of their family is about to change is never easy. Follow these steps to learn how to explain divorce to young children.

Difficulty:

Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Be honest with kids about the state of their marriage. Even though young children won’t understand all that a divorce entails, they will understand that mom and dad no longer want to be together.

2. Don’t disclose all of the specifics surrounding the dissolution of your marriage. Children will have enough to deal with trying to handle their own feelings--they don't need to be burdened with all of the hurtful details as to why your marriage is ending.

3. Explain to children that the divorce is not their fault. Self-blame is one of the many emotions that young kids will feel when their parents’ marriage ends. So take the time to tell kids that your decision to split had nothing to do with them, or anything that they've done.

4. Consistently reassure your children that your love for them will never disappear. This is particularly important for the non-custodial parent, as they will not be there each night at to read stories, tuck the them into bed or kiss them good night.

5. Speak to your kids about any changes that may occur during the divorce such as a parent moving out of the home, a school change or the possibility of having to relocate to a different residence.

6. Allow young kids to verbalize their feelings about the divorce. They should have the opportunity to have their say, as they are dealing with a surge of emotions that may include rejection, grief, sadness and anger.

7. Avoid giving kids false hope of a reconciliation. Children will always want their parents to "kiss and make-nice." But they need to understand that no matter what happens, your decision is final.