How to Prepare for Mediation in Your Dissolution of Marriage

You or our spouse filed for divorce and the petition, answer, counter petition and answer to counter petition have been filed. It is now time to prepare for mediation. Especially if you have children, this is a crucial time in your divorce to come to a mutual agreement about how you'll part ways and parent your children

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• All financial records
• Titles to all vehicles
• Deeds to all properties
• Copies of mortgages to all properties
• Copies of any rental agreements between you and your landlord or you and someone you rent to
• Any previously entered orders regarding who lives in the marital home, visitation and custody

1. First, if you are represented by an attorney, your attorney will ask for these documents. In the State of Florida, this is called Mandatory Disclosure. Both parties must present their records. If you are pro se (you represent yourself), you will be asked by your spouse's attorney for these records. If you are pro se, you should also ask for and receive a copy of your spouse's mandatory disclosure if it was not sent to you with or just after the petition.
2. Once you receive your spouse's documents, get them together with your documents, Separate them into separate folders. Bank account statements for different accounts should go in their own folders. All of your retirement should also be separated into separate folders via account number.
3. Once that is completed, make an index of each folder and what is in the folders. Write down the name of the account or document and what the ending balance is for each month. If you have an appraisal, write down how much the home was appraised for. Write down the balance on your retirement accounts.
4. Prepare an equitable distribution worksheet (if you have an attorney, your attorney should have one prepared). List all your assets and liabilities. You will want to try to go for a 50-50 split. If you want to keep a certain retirement account, you can balance it out by taking on more debt or giving up a different asset.
5. If you go prepared with what you would like to keep out of the marriage and are fair about the outcome, you will most likely settle, if your spouse is being reasonable and fair. Settling at mediation can save both of you thousands in attorneys fees. Go into mediation with a calm demeanor, and try to keep everything fair and reasonable. If you owned something before you were married and think you should be entitled to a "special equity" in that item, be ready to provide documentation that the item was yours before you were married, and be prepared to show that you did not use marital funds to enhance that item.
6. If you have children, and you are the spouse that will be exercising visitation instead of primary custody, have a visitation schedule worked out, including splitting holidays.

Tips & Warnings

• Get everything organized and know how much your assets and liabilities are.
• Know what assets and liabilities may be classified as pre-marital and have the documentation needed.
• Do not count on your spouse to be fair. Hopefully he/she will be fair, but remember, you are suing for divorce. Keep an open mind. It could go either way, where he/she is very reasonable and fair, or he/she is going to be vindictive and not agree to anything.