How to Deal With a Boyfriend Who Is a Mama's Boy
Your guy may not be as bad as Norman Bates, but he’s definitely a mama’s boy. No matter how much you fret, moan, stew and try to break the umbilical bonds that continue to bind him, he’s still hooked on his mother. You can deal with a boyfriend who’s a mama’s boy with a change of attitude.
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Instructions
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Accept that your boyfriend’s a mama’s boy and nothing is going to change it, not even love or clean laundry. Work with the situation instead of against it.
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Make friends with his mother. As golden as your boyfriend is in her eyes, she’s probably the same in his. Turn her into an ally, not an enemy. This can be done by chatting when she calls 20 times a day, sending her special cards on holidays and taking time out to spend time with her one on one.
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Take advantage of the situation. If your boyfriend is whining about not having clean clothes or a hot dinner, tell him to trek on down to his mom’s so she can do a load of laundry and feed him. When he complains about money, likewise send him her way to get some.
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Ignore his remarks that may slip out during fights and meals where he says, “You’ll never be as good as my mother,” or “That’s not how mom makes meatloaf.”
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Remain your own, individual self. You don’t need to start acting like his mother or making meatloaf like she does. Retain your own stellar personality that brought you and your boyfriend together in the first place.
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Tips & Warnings
None of this is easy but it can be fun if you look at it as a game.
When you’re sick of the game, dump him.
Never run to your mama's boy boyfriend to complain about his mother and never run to his mother to complain about him. The boyfriend and mother team will not be broken, especially for a lowly girlfriend.
Don't get discouraged if your best efforts to befriend his mother fail. Some mama boy mothers are not going to like any girlfriend, no matter what.
Never spurt out, “Well, why don’t you just go back to your mother, then!” because he will.
- Photo Credit Photo and tattoo work by Ryn Gargulinski
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Comments
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I've been with my bf for just under 4 years and he's constantly put me on hold waiting for him to get a job, become financially stable and return from a 3 month trip overseas. And keeps buying time to delay moving in together. He hasn't been able to get a full time job in over 3 years and his mother doesn't care and won't even encourage him to do so. I never really understood why she was ok with it until I came across an article in a 'google' search which lead me to 'Mother-son enmeshment'. It was jaw dropping for me cause it answered every possible question I could never get him to answer. His mother doesn't care that he doesn't have a job because it means he's home to be spend time with her and he continues to be very dependant on her and he knows I won't tolerate it. He basically replaced the husband she divorced when he was a little boy. I feel like I'm having an affair and I'm the other woman. How dare I wan't to take her son away from her. So I'm in the process of letting him go unless he's prepared to make me a priority, get a job and seek counselling. I suggest you read up ladies, it's a real insight. I've sacrificed 4 years for him it's about time he gave something back.
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We live on the same property as his parents, in our own house. He bends over backwards to do his mom's chores. I am working and going to school, he's unemployed, and I can't get any help from him. I ask him to do one chore, and he acts like it doesn't matter when I get home and it isn't done. What do I do!
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I want to have a happiest married life so I don't tolerate a mama's boy...gets me suicide.
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strongmadewomen
Oct 25, 2010
i am dealing with a momma boy and oh my...*shaking head* i'm so annoyed. He's 35 and never had kids, never had a real relationship (besides me and let me add im the longest he has been with 2 years) and lives with his mom. Guess what???...his mom still cooks for him. you know i can't finish the story because he's gonna come to bed now.,...so later. -
maycee
Aug 22, 2009
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years, who is 46 years old, and still lives with his mother! He is not feminine in anyway, but this it just a load of crap! Run the other way! I am a single mom with 2 children, grown up, I raised on my own, I have a really good job and usually a second job on the side, a nice home. His mother was constantly looking for reasons for him not to like me! She was as two faced as the day is long. This is a woman who has nothing good to say about her own 84 year old mother or her grandchildren! She is manipulative and selfish! It makes me sick that he is never going to have his own life due to her disgusting selfishness! Never date a grown man who still live with his mother, it will never change and she will only cause you misery!
