How to Teach Children Compassion

Teaching compassion is teaching by example. Children need to see everyday examples of kindness and tolerance in order to become empathetic themselves. However, communicating with your child and making suggestions for compassionate behavior are also helpful. Here are five steps toward that goal. Note: These steps are written directly for your child.

Instructions

1. Here are four ways you can help friends with their problems (and one way you should not). • Be a good listener. When a friend is having a problem, try to make your conversations unbalanced and non-judgmental. "Unbalanced" means that a friend with a problem might need way more time to talk about his problem and himself than you need to talk about you. "Non-judgmental" means that you don't say what you think is right or wrong or good or bad. You just listen. • Understand that people are not always on their best behavior when they have problems. When people are upset, they may do things which seem rude; you just have to be prepared for that. • Ask if there are things you can do to help. Try to have something specific in mind when you ask. For example, if a friend is upset because a parent is in the hospital, you might ask if he needs a ride to school or somewhere to go after school. • You should promise to keep your friend's confidences, however, you should never promise not to tell if you think your friend is going to do something that will hurt himself or others. In fact, you should tell your parent immediately.

2. Here are three ways to you can express sympathy to people who are grieving: • In families where someone has recently died, people often appreciate hearing memories and stories about that person. It's fine to tell your aunt, for example, "I liked the way Uncle Bill always used to call me 'Miss Sunshine.' " • It often helps people who are grieving to know they are not alone. You can pick out a sympathy card and sign and address it yourself. Even nicer would be a drawing (maybe of some flowers) with a note that says, "I'm thinking about you," and your signature. • It is traditional to take food to families who have lost a loved one. Maybe you could bake a batch of cookies or make up a salad, for example, to deliver as your own contribution.

3. Here are two ways to help you understand old people:• Ask to see pictures of your grandparents or other older people when they were young. Ask to hear stories about their lives, particularly stories from their childhood. • Keep in mind that sitting in a wheelchair all day, not hearing well, or being plagued with pain sometimes makes people behave differently than if they were not dealing with these difficulties.

4. Volunteer: By serving dinner in a homeless shelter or teaching a disabled child how to swim you will be able to see for yourself what it is like to live every day with difficulties. Many times you realize find that volunteering gives as much to yourself as they do to others.