How to Help Your Children Make Friends

Making and keeping friends is a tricky business. It's vital for parents to remember that sometimes children need a little assistance in the area of social development With much grace, you can help your kids along that often rocky path to friendship.

Instructions

1. When encouraging your child to invite a classmate over after school or on a Saturday, it's helpful if you have a specific activity in mind. For example, your child might suggest trying out a new badminton set or baking dog cookies. Explain that it helps to pay attention to what kids are interested in; maybe the boy in the above example likes sports and the girl has been talking about a puppy.

2. Invite your child's classmate to go on a family outing with your family. You might all go out for ice cream or to a park, for example. Or plan an activity that your family and a friend's family could do together, like picnicking or spending the afternoon at a children's museum.

3. Look for friendship venues outside the classroom. Your child might like to join clubs at school which are made up of kids from different grades and different classes. Some children might like to try scouting or 4-H. They might find friends at swimming lessons, as a member of a children's theater troupe, or while volunteering.

4. Explain that making and keeping friends takes time, effort, thought, and understanding. Spend time talking about what that previous sentence means--and use plenty of specific examples. They might also keep in mind the fact that even the best of friends disagree and even argue occasionally. Things can usually be patched up later although you may need to give it some time.

5. Teach your child this lifelong invaluable tip: let your friends have time to talk about themselves. Listen to their opinions and ideas. Now is a good time to insert the word "nonjudgmental" into your child's vocabulary. Also, remind kids that when they talk about themselves, they should try to remember not to brag or exaggerate.

6. When your attend parent-teacher conferences, it might be helpful to check with your child's teacher for a "social" grade. Sometimes teachers can provide insight into what obstacles seem to stand in the way of your child's ability to make friends.

Tips & Warnings

• Talk to your children about your own friendships, past and present. Explain how those relationships developed and what the peaks and valleys in those friendships have been.