Don't jump off the ledge just yet!
Step1
Everything changes in your life as a result: your income; your relationships; your spending habits; your schedule and even, most importantly, your self-esteem. If you allow it to plummet there will be problems. If your self-worth is completely wrapped up in your occupation and you no longer have a job you better start sorting out another way to define yourself, and that’s not such a bad thing. You’re not just an employee, or former employee. You’re probably a mother and daughter and sister and neighbor and fabulous cook or death-defying athlete or unparalleled gardener. You might be the best joke teller in the neighborhood or the only one who knows how to change the oil in your car. You aren’t one-dimensional and your job did not, ever, or shouldn’t have, defined you completely.Nevertheless, it’s hard. How do you keep your chin up and your optimism in check? How do you stay hopeful and productive and fill in the gaps that were previously filled by work? It isn’t easy and no one is suggesting that you’re not going to have your moments of despair. You’re allowed a day or two of pity partying and sobbing and moping about, wailing, “Woe is me!” which, technically, and for the record, should be “Woe is I!” At some point, though, and the sooner the better, you’ve got to turn your thinking around and convince yourself to perceive this period in your life (as unwanted and unwelcome as it might be) as an opportunity rather than a set-back.
Step2
An opportunity for what? Lots of things. If you’ve getting unemployment, and, better yet, are fortunate enough to have a bit of a savings to tide you over or, even better, have a spouse or partner who is still employed, perhaps it would be wise not to scramble out to the first job that comes along. Would it be so wrong to take a breather? Would it be such a bad thing if you stop and took stock of your life, of yourself, what you want, what you don’t want, maybe for the first time in years or the first time ever, and figure out how to get there? We all become regimented through necessity. Get up at this time, get to work at that time, go to lunch at this time and drive home at that time. Do this, do that, be here, be there, do the laundry, fill the gas tank, feed the dog, take out the trash, lay out your clothes, take your bath, and be in bed by ten. We turn into automatons that live and breathe by the clock. We do it over and over and over again the next day and the day after that by rote until it becomes a mindless process that we adhere to so that we’re able to function and be where we’re supposed to be when we’re supposed to be there. We try to eliminate any surprises and uncertainties. Life is safer that way. What if you don’t HAVE to be anywhere? What if you can stay up past midnight without impunity? What if you decide not to bathe and forego make-up or choose to tromp around in your pj’s all day? So what? It’s all right. You’re laid off. In fact, not only is it all right, it’s downright fun. It’s like playing hooky and getting away with it.
Step3
However, just because you’re slogging around in your jammies and have foregone a shower for three days does not mean that you have permission to slough off. This is the ideal time to reconnoiter. Some of us are at our best when our back is up against the wall. There is no guaranteed weekly paycheck. You can’t resort to complacency. If you’re going to find a new job and a way to support yourself and others then you need to be thinking ALL OF THE TIME, except when you’re napping (one of the perks of unemployment) and we’ll cut you some slack there.Your unemployment will run out. That’s a given. But you have this time to figure out how you’re going to proceed, what you want to do, if you’re willing to re-locate, if you want to change fields altogether, so … figure it out. If nothing else, you have time. Use it wisely and productively. Scour the Internet. You would be amazed at what you can find. Perhaps you can find a telecommuting job that doesn’t require you to get dressed and show up in an office every morning. Do you want to go to school? Go back to school? If you’ve been involved in a mass lay off there are opportunities for paid schooling. Ask your local Job and Family Services office about this or your former employer. Network on the phone, by email, in person. Let your friends, acquaintances, the people at church, and the guy at the gas station, know that you’re looking for work. Read newspaper want ads. Keep your eyes and ears AND mind open to new possibilities. Step outside of the proverbial box. Don’t limit yourself to what you’ve always done. Try something new. Who says you can’t do it? Try to relax. It’s hard. You’re nervous and fretful but … just breathe.
Step4
This isn’t the end of the world. In fact, it might be the beginning of a whole new world for you. Sometimes, if we’re not forced, through lay-offs or other influences that we can’t control, to change our lives, we never do. We stay put. We just keep doing what we’ve always done even though we might be bored, unhappy and unchallenged. So, starting now, perceive your current status as a gift; a small moment in time where you’re given the opportunity to explore and decide what the next act is.
