How to Tell Your Parents You Are in Love With a Foreigner

Internet dating is a subject that many people familiar with the Internet are quite happy to address but usually in a negative manner. However, online relationships, even international ones are possible. Speaking with your heart rather than your mind can bring you much joy and if you are a young person falling in love with someone from another country or even another race, telling your parents about it could end up being one of the most difficult things you will ever do.

Instructions

1. The first step is determining your own heart. You need to know for certain if this person is the one for you, and you need to assess your true feelings toward this person. Make sure you really are interested in proceeding with this relationship before you tell anyone. Most of the time, if you tell people right away about your online relationship, they will react very scornfully towards that new person in your life. They may do it out of love for you, but it won't feel like love, so you need to be very careful about telling other people until you are absolutely certain that you want this relationship to proceed beyond just friendship. On the other hand, telling your parents you have a friendship with a person from overseas probably won't raise an eyebrow at all.

2. Now you will need to break the news as gently and as gradually as possible. Nobody is going to be willing to accept it right off the bat, but most will accept it if the idea has a chance to grow on them for a while. A long distance relationship is unusual and even bizarre to most people and they will not easily understand how it is even possible. This is the, "it can't happen if you don't spend real time together" mentality. But the reality is that this type of relationship not only can happen, it does and on a regular basis. Wait for just the right time and bring up the subject of this person gradually, allowing your parents time to get used to the idea that this other person is now a part of your life.

3. Show them pictures of this person if you have some, and tell them a few things about him or her to give them the opportunity to think of them as a real person rather than just some words on a page. Your parents are likely to take this whole relationship as a joke at first. You should expect that and try to understand how they feel. Remember, back in their day, depending on how old they are, they most likely didn't have this type of relationship, because they didn't have Internet dating. Once they come to understand the particulars of Internet technology and the types of communication that are available to you, they will understand better how you can fall in love with this person that you have yet to actually meet in person.

4. Gradually bring up to your parents the subject of your lover's nation of origin. Is is a beautiful country? Tell them about it. Show them pictures that you have gleaned from the Internet. What is the culture of that person's country? Become as familiar with that culture and its people as you can, so that when your parents ask, and they will, you will have logical and enthusiastic answers for them. Do not lie about this other person, only tell the truth as you know it. Get your parents comfortable with this person and their culture to the point where they begin to feel comfortable addressing the issue of your relationship.

5. Eventually, you will want to visit this person from a foreign country. Your parents may take a while to get used to that idea, but let them know that you will keep communications open throughout the whole time you are gone. Let them know gently, that this is your life and your choice and you need to follow through for your own peace of mind. At the very least you will come away from the experience with lasting memories and beautiful pictures. At the most you may come back home more in love than ever and your parents will see that in you when next you meet. Help them to understand that this is the person for you if it comes to the point where the two of you decide to marry.

6. Your parents will most likely not want you to move to another country. Let them know gently, that this decision is yours to make, and you must follow your heart in the matter. Facts are facts, one of you is going to have to move away from home if this marriage is going to happen. Again, let them know that you will always keep communications open to them even if it is only through email or Instant Messenger. This relationship is something you will have to work at, just like any "normal" relationship and you will need to put your all into it if you are serious about making it work.

Tips & Warnings

• Be careful about Internet dating. Not every foreigner you meet is planning to scam you but many of them are. Proceed with caution and move very slowly with the relationship.

• Always remember to take care with your feelings and emotions. International dating is not for everyone.

• Become confident in the relationship, build trust in that other person before you make any serious decisions.

• Do not share too much personal information with someone you have met online, regardless of where he or she lives. Always be cautious.

• Never become involved in a relationship online based on looks alone. People sometimes put faked pictures on their profiles.

Resources

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