How to Urinate Outside Discreetly

For those women and men who find themselves in situations where they have to urinate outside, here is how to do it discreetly.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Reproductive organs
• Overwhelming desire to urinate
• Small shielding element

1. If you absolutely must urinate outside, you will need three things--your eyes, your common sense and an ability to be quick about your business.

2. Know that the best place for men are phonebooths and against a wall. For a phonebooth, act like you are talking on the phone and aim the stream towards the curb. The wall technique has been employed by men for years, and its best if you can stand close enough to the wall to ensure that there is no splashback. If there is a dumpster or trash can--anything at waist level or higher, try to hide behind that or at least stand next to it and aim the stream so it appears as if you are standing next to it and not actually urinating.

3. For women, this can be harder but anything that is waist high will work to crouch behind. Another tactic is to squat between parked cars. For those girls who are overly concerned, there are Y-shaped products, designed for backpackers, that can be purchased which shield the private parts.

4. At concerts, for men, the density of the crowd can work to an advantage. If a guy can discreetly place an empty bottle at his fly, no one will notice that he is urinating into the bottle. Just make sure you have the cap, or, if an an outdoor festival, can put it on the grass and kick it over without splashing other patrons.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are a woman, wearing a skirt helps. For men, undo only the fly and try to cover as much of yourself as possible.
• Urinating outside is illegal and you can be fined and/or arrested. These tactics should only be employed when there is truly no other option.