How to Get Out of a Potentially Abusive Relationship

You deserve happiness

People who have been in prior abusive relationships often see the warning signs that a new relationship is potentially abusive. They might fear continuing in a potentially abusive relationship but also fear leaving it as well. If you suspect that your relationship is potentially abusive, you need to get out immediately. Here is how to get out of a potentially abusive relationship.

Instructions

1. Decide that you deserve to have an emotionally healthy relationship. Many people stay in potentially abusive relationships because they do not believe that they deserve to be treated better. Until you believe that you deserve to be treated with respect, you are going to continue finding yourself in potentially abusive relationships.

2. Set emotional boundaries. Most abusive people seek out partners who they can push around, whether physically or emotionally. If you set and enforce emotional boundaries in your relationship, then you will no longer be appealing to a person who is potentially abusive. The relationship is more likely to fall apart on its own before it turns abusive.

3. Recognize that most potentially abusive relationships go through a honeymoon period first. If an abusive person began a relationship with hitting or demeaning his partner, then the partner would be unlikely to stick around. Instead, abusive people tend to woo their partners, treating them like queens, and then start the abusive behavior after the partner is smitten.

4. Get out at the first sign of potential abuse. Do not allow second chances for any abusive behavior. Never allow another person to hit you, demean you or do anything else that you do not want in a relationship. At the first sign of abusive behavior, walk out the door and don’t look back.

5. Seek assistance with leaving, if needed. If you are afraid to leave a potentially abusive relationship, then get assistance from others. Most communities have a battered women’s shelter that will assist you in breaking free of an abusive relationship. Talk to a clergyman about your situation. Lean on friends or you can even contact the police department for advice.

6. Leave town. If you do not feel safe after leaving a potentially abusive relationship, consider leaving town. Putting distance between you and a potentially abusive ex-partner can be the best way to keep yourself safe.

7. Find a qualified therapist with experience in counseling people who have been in abusive relationships. A good therapist can help you understand why you are attracted to abusive people and show you the way out of this cycle. Anyone who has been in an abusive relationship can benefit from therapy.

Tips & Warnings

• Trust your intuition. If your intuition is telling you that you are in a potentially abusive relationship, then get out now.

• Abusive people can be dangerous. Never assume that a potentially abusive partner would not do something to harm you. Err on the side of protecting yourself.