How to Prevent Abusive Relationships

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You can break the cycle of abusive relationships.

Many people who have a history of being in an abusive relationship find history repeating itself. Whether the prior relationship was with a parent, boyfriend/girlfriend or spouse, people who have been in prior abusive relationships run a greater risk of finding themselves in another abusive relationship. You can break the cycle for yourself. Here is how to prevent abusive relationships.

Instructions

    • 1

      Recognize that you are vulnerable to abusive relationships. Make an effort to become a more emotionally healthy person,. If not, you are very likely to find yourself in another abusive relationship. While you likely do not enjoy being in abusive relationships, they hold a level of comfort because they are familiar. You need to break this pattern to prevent abusive relationships. Keeping a journal throughout your journey is a great way to figure out what triggers you to let these people in your life.

    • 2

      Choose not to enter into a new relationship until you heal your emotional wounds. Many people find themselves bouncing from one abusive relationship to another. This can be prevented by taking a sabbatical from relationships.

    • 3

      Find a qualified therapist with experience in counseling people with your particular issues. A good therapist can help you understand why you are attracted to abusive people, and also he can show you the way out of this cycle. Anyone who has been in an abusive relationship can benefit from therapy.

    • 4

      Learn to love yourself. The more you love yourself, the less likely you will be to find yourself in an abusive relationship. If you love yourself, you seek out relationships that nurture you rather than continue an unhealthy dynamic.

    • 5

      Set emotional boundaries in relationships. Most abusive people seek out partners who they can push around, whether physically or emotionally. If you set emotional boundaries in your relationships, abusive people will no longer be attracted to you. Abusive people are typically looking for “doormats.” It is imperative to stop being a doormat.

    • 6

      Walk out at the first sign of abuse. Many battered women leave their abusers multiple times before they leave for good. The first time the other person is abusive to you, leave the relationship. It is much easier to get out in the early months or years than it is later.

Tips & Warnings

  • Remember that you teach other people how to treat you. If you demand respect in relationships, you are going to get it. If you allow other people to be abusive to you, you are going to continue having abusive relationships.

  • Don't tolerate any sort of abuse. Emotional, verbal and physical abuse can all be equally damaging.

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  • Photo Credit (c) Lynda Bernhardt

Comments

View all 6 Comments
  • novalove Mar 28, 2009
    Well done. Thank you for this. 5*
  • novalove Mar 28, 2009
    Well done. Thank you for this. 5*
  • strongone Sep 18, 2008
    I recently left an abusive relationship. It wasn't until I began telling myself that I loved myself and deserved the best that I could leave. It is amazing how powerful self-love is. I am only going to allow myself to have healthy relationships from now on. At the first sight of abuse I will leave. That was the problem with my x. It was so slow and subtle, but looking back I can see how he put me down and shattered my self esteem. It took me 5 times to fially leave him for good. To all you people who are in an abusive relationship, you deserve to be happy. There is a way out.
  • strongone Sep 18, 2008
    I recently left an abusive relationship. It wasn't until I began telling myself that I loved myself and deserved the best that I could leave. It is amazing how powerful self-love is. I am only going to allow myself to have healthy relationships from now on. At the first sight of abuse I will leave. That was the problem with my x. It was so slow and subtle, but looking back I can see how he put me down and shattered my self esteem. It took me 5 times to fially leave him for good. To all you people who are in an abusive relationship, you deserve to be happy. There is a way out.
  • Nightwishfan Sep 14, 2008
    I like how this is simple. It's 100% true that loving yourself and being emotionally healthy is the key to escaping abusive relationships. The minute I started feeling good about myself, it was so much easier to leave an abusive relationship. When you feel low about yourself, you sub-consciously feel you deserve to be stuck to the abuser.

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