Things You'll Need:
- ability to to put your stubborn pride aside.
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Step 1
Forgive the person before you ever speak to them. Really forgive them. If you do this before you bring the other person back into the process, you will have much greater success mending this relationship. Forgiving them will free you of your anger which only gets in the way when trying to fix relationships.
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Step 2
When you do speak to them, the first thing you must do is apologize. It doesn't matter if you feel you weren't wrong. Something you did or didn't do hurt this person as much as what they did hurt you. Start with an unconditional apology. If you love this person and want them back in your life, being right shouldn't matter.
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Step 3
Once you apologize, listen to what the other person has to say without getting mad or cutting them off to remind them what they did wrong - just listen - really listen.
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Step 4
Don't expect an apology. You may not get one and if you absolutely must have one, then you might not be able to solve this rift.
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Step 5
After you've listened to everything the other person had to say. Explain to them why you were hurt and/or mad. Do this without using accusing language like "You did this" or "You ruined my life". It may sound cheesy, but use feeling sentences like "When you did this, it made me feel..." It really helps when you are trying not to fall back into an old fight.
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Step 6
If the other person isn't ready to forgive you, don't get angry. Instead, leave the door open. Tell them you love them and want them back in your life. Tell them you are willing to wait. And do just that wait. After some time has passed, try to contact them again. Take the time that is necessary to fix things.
Comments
TheDon said
on 5/30/2008 I love this article. It will definitely help a lot of people, myself included.