How to Arrest Competitive Arousal
Everyone has made irrational decisions in the heat of the moment, but few people understand the psychological forces behind these decisions. The key to dealing with competitive arousal is understanding the complex motivations hidden behind a mask of reasoned self-interest. Once you understand what drives you or your employee to over-compete, you can take steps to correct it.
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Instructions
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Examine what role rivalry plays in your competitive arousal. When you go up against an adversary in a negotiation, think about the thoughts that run through your head. If you see them as an opponent, you may have a problem. Feeling angry, inferior or superior is also a red flag. You might be seeing them as an enemy instead of a mere competitor.
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Realize where your opponent is coming from. In most competitive situations, an opponent is usually doing what you are doing: competing for something which is in his interest. By reminding yourself that your opponent is in the same position you are in and feeling empathy for him, you can check your intensely competitive feelings.
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Observe how you react to an audience. For many people, the desire to impress an audience is a key factor in competitive arousal.
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Try negotiating one on one. For example, instead of meeting in a group to bid for a contract, meet one on one with the client and then with your committee to discuss the results.
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Spread the responsibility evenly among several members. Instead of negotiating a whole deal yourself, have each committee member negotiate one aspect of it. This will prevent a situation where one person feels responsible for everything and competes too aggressively to please the group.
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Give yourself more time. Whenever possible, delay a decision until you feel comfortable making it. You want to make sure that you are making the right decisions for the right reasons.
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Set up hard limits before you negotiate. Understand what the thing you are negotiating for is worth to you, and write it down. Don't go beyond that limit.
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Tips & Warnings
Be honest with your competitor. Try to take the pressure off by acknowledging that it exists.
Don't let yourself be pressured by competitors. Take things at your own pace.
