How to be the intimidator of your basketball team.

You want to be "that guy"? You know, that guy you don't want to see on the court at the same time as you. That guy who kind of makes you reevaluate the nature of basketball and the consequences of playing sports. He has this uncanny ability to make you miss the shots you just made in practice. He just seems to have this presence about him that is just unreal. At his peak this guy can alter game plans, this guy can spark lasting rivalries, and ignite his fellow teammates at seemingly any given time. We all feel smaller when he is around because this guy has mastered the art of intimidation on the court. Let us examine this guy, that we might learn from him.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A mouthpiece
• A loud deep voice
• A practiced and seasoned menacing glare
• A little untapped aggression doesn't hurt.

1. 
    
   Standard Mouth Protection

   Get a mouthpiece! They are only maybe $4 at Wal-mart or Target and it is a worthy investment. I believe it's also a part of the intimidation factor. A mouthpiece says, "I'm ready for you, are You ready for Me?" There is just something about a mouthpiece that makes people think internally, "Wait, why is he wearing a mouthpiece? Should I be wearing a mouthpiece?" Insurance coverages, their kids college funds, other pass times they could be enjoying you get the idea. Get a mouthpiece!

2. 
    
   Vintage Kenyon!

   Practice yelling out some key phrases in the mirror. Yelling is often associated with alarm, insanity, anger, violence, and just emotions in general. Here are a couple of practice phrases to try in your mirror.
   1. Get off me! (that's a good one)
   2. No! Absolutely not!
   3. Where are you going? Huh?
   4. You don't want any of this bro.
   5. Just practice warrior yelling in general. No words just sound.
   *Low pitched grunts or growls are also good.

3. 
    
   You know I'm gonna eat you, right?

   Develop a glare; this is another mirror step. Your facial expressions are designed to tell people what you are thinking without the use of words. Based upon what people feel that you are thinking/communicating determines the level of interaction/conversation that they want to have with you. A glare is not just a "look", it's a fierce look; it's a facial disposition that you hold until you win; it is the staring down of your opponent until he is blinded by your glare and forced to look away. If a gazelle came face to face with a lion, how would that lion look at the gazelle? Now hold.

4. 
    
   Get on your feet!

   Play harder than everyone else. You don't have to be the fastest or strongest, just be a fierce competitor. Be aggressive, be physical, be loud, talk to the crowd, and to the opponents bench, talk to their team, talk to your team, get everyone involved, for this is the way.

5. 
    
   Testosterone.

   Have at least one planned or staged angry, emotional, and disgruntled outburst in every game. This outburst can be anything ranging from arguing an obvious foul, expressing unrest about another players actions, pushing the ball in your opponents chest after a shot, taking a technical foul for misconduct or excessive taunting, etc. This gives further credibility to the picture you are trying to paint in your opponents mind. I do not condone violence, just perceived aggression. Thanks for viewing. Don't forget to leave some feedback.

Tips & Warnings

• It is not what you would do, it's what people think you would do.
• The word intimidate means to make a person feel small or little. You do that by making yourself look bigger than they are.
• Most men are intimidated when people display emotion or emphasis of feeling. Use your emotions.
• The techniques used here are definitely more effective when there is a collective group effort.
• Remember that you don't have to actually indulge in any form or act of physical violence to become an intimidator.

[nelas]

on 1/26/2009 This great article makes me want to put that game face back on and get on the court again. It's been 5 years!

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[BasketballBoy]

on 12/15/2008 Great article

[krazigirl79]

on 7/15/2008 Great article, thanks!

[madams1982]

on 6/12/2008 LOL! This was great!