How to Deal With His Family Obligations

Relationships require couples to compromise as two people mesh their lives together. This give-and-take extends beyond the couple and includes learning to mesh activities with friends and family. If you find it hard to deal with his family obligations, it's time to put things into perspective.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Talk to him about your frustrations when you're both in a calm, relaxed state. Explain the issues that bother you. He could be unaware they exist. Even if he knows you're not happy about his family obligations, he may not understand the level of anxiety involved. He's your partner, so make him involved.
2. Find something positive about his family members. If his mother is demanding of his time, remember that she's a mom who loves her child—and that's a good thing.
3. Pitch in with a smile whenever you can. When dealing with family obligations, it helps to volunteer rather than feel coerced. Volunteer to host the family reunion this year; it'll put you in his family's good graces.
4. Make a schedule and stick to it. Sit down with your partner and mark off obligations for both families on the calendar. Choose the events you will attend as well as those you will politely decline. Mark off days that are reserved exclusively for you as a couple, and don't allow intrusion by either family on "your" days.

Tips & Warnings

• It takes two to compromise in any relationship. Expect your partner's cooperation to solve the obligation issue. If he's unwilling to work with you, there are likely bigger issues involved than his family.
• Don't become a doormat. Your conscious choice to compromise with his family obligations does not give license to anyone to take advantage of your hospitality. Set boundaries with your partner and make them known to both families … gently but firmly.