How to Use Humor as a Defense Mechanism
There are a number of defense mechanisms from which you can choose. They take various amounts of practice for you to become adept. Humor is considered a mature defense mechanism but you don't have to be old to use it effectively--just desire sincerely to keep others at a distance.
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Instructions
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Point out and laugh off your own humiliating shortcomings in any situation that would normally bother you. It is impossible for someone to laugh at you if you're laughing first. Draw attention to yourself. Use this kind of exhibition to cover your insecurities and no one will ever believe you're not fully confident.
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Giggle whenever you're being evasive or you're scared. You're again drawing attention to yourself, but this time it is to keep people from ever taking you seriously. You can avoid a lot of conflict this way.
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Expand your horizons. Learn as much as you can about pop culture, literature, classic films, music and sports to draw comical comparisons and see ironies between them and whatever situation comes to hand. Start quoting TV shows or books and call people you know by the names of the characters when they show similarities.
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Laugh at everything. There are no situations where humor doesn't exist, even at a funeral. Finding humor or irony will keep you from appearing vulnerable and help you maintain control over your outward emotional state.
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Show your friends their flaws in a disarming manner. It puts them in a defensive position, allowing you to control exactly how close your relationships with them are and keep them from getting too familiar. This step takes practice. There is a fine line to walk between being funny and being a jerk.
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Tips & Warnings
Always have a wry smile on your face, like you secretly find everything amusing. It gives the air of honesty, without any of the vulnerabilities.
Never outright make fun of someone else. This steps out of the realm of humor as a defense mechanism and into displacement. This is an immature mechanism and people may end up classifying you as a jerk or something worse.
There are always going to be people who don't appreciate your humor or understand that it's a defense mechanism. Like any other situation that would ordinarily bother you, try to laugh it off.
