How to Use RPG Skills With Debt Collectors

Creating and maintaining RPG characters requires time and dedication. Becoming the perfect elven archer, nosferatu vampire or evil king is hard work, which leaves you no time for something as trivial as a job or paying bills. Use your RPG skills to get rid of credit and debt collectors for good.

Instructions

1. Select a character you are comfortable with, one whose species is not inclined to have a sudden bout of guilt or integrity. This project requires at minimum a neutral personality. A character that has difficulty speaking well is also advantageous but discount grunting and groaning speakers.

2. Create the back-story in advance, include specific details to keep the evil credit empire from detecting your illusion. Eliminate all references to family and friends to avoid any attempts at contact the debt demons might attempt.

3. Answer the phone in character every time it rings and have your RPG skills honed to a fine point. These devils disguise their caller ID to avoid detection.

4. Speak as calmly as your character allows when addressing the credit and debt dogs. Explain in relatively plain language why this debt belongs to another or follow the natural course of the storyline you have chosen.

5. Demand that these demons release the curse that has befallen you or at the very least remove you from the call list per current federal law. Threaten retaliation through mystical, warrior or clerical means as they already know you can't afford a lawyer.

6. Stop answering your door as their vile atrocities know no bounds and you may find some very nice men on your step with an invitation to join them for a little ride. Remain in character and enjoy the Salisbury steak special you'll receive every Tuesday night with a clear conscience, knowing the financial worries of past years will be long forgotten when you return home.