How to Have Sex in a Small Space

For the sexually adventurous, finding a new and interesting location is always a challenge. Upping the ante further, is a list of small places where cramped quarters, public access and questionable privacy create a new frontier. The following suggestions may be helpful in finding the right spot.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

On a Commercial Jetliner

1. Meet in the plane's lavatory as the plan reaches cruising altitude. Listen carefully for the first beep of the in-flight message system that alerts the flight attendants to begin service preparations.

2. Note when the "fasten seatbelts" sign illuminates. Make the move quickly at this point to the lavatory. Choose one that's not near the galley.

3. Decide beforehand the partner who waits 1 minute, then comes to the lavatory. Listen for the beverage carts to roll past the door, thus blocking passengers from the aisle.

4. Put down the toilet seat. Use a sanitary wipe or a paper towel with soap and water to clean it. Cover the toilet seat with paper towels for extra protection.

5. Have one partner sit on the toilet to assure ample ceiling clearance in the event of turbulence. Be quick and be quiet. Have one partner leave the lavatory first. Wait 1 minute before the second partner leaves.

6. Assume a neutral if not bored facial expression when exiting the lavatory. Be prepared to tell an inquiring flight attendant that one partner was ill and the other was assisting.

In an Elevator

7. Choose an older elevator with an emergency "stop" button. Pressing the button may sound an alarm to emergency personnel. It usually takes approximately 15 minutes for personnel to arrive.

8. Use a friend elevator with padded walls for comfort and sound reduction. Look for a "stop" button or lever. Expect no alarm to sound.

9. Search for a security camera before proceeding. Check the rear corners of the space. Cover the camera lens with tape, a bit of fabric or several postage stamps. Take note that the video system may have audio surveillance.

10. Stop the elevator between floors to prevent the doors from being opened. Move the elevator level with the next floor when it's time to open the inner doors. (Understand that an elevator technician can open the inner doors from the outside when the elevator is level with a floor.)

11. Release the button or lever when you're leaving the elevator. Exit the elevator normally. State to anyone who asks the elevator malfunctioned and there are no injuries to report.

In a Dressing Room

12. Find a dressing room with a door and walls that extend the floor. Choose the dressing room that is farthest from the entrance, which tends to have the least amount of traffic.

13. Lookout for a demanding customer occupying the salesperson. Wait for a moment when the salesperson is busy helping the customer and make a move into the unoccupied dressing room.

14. Instruct the partner to follow 1 to 2 minutes later. Be specific about the target dressing room.

15. Move quickly and remember the walls are thin. Check appearances in the mirror before exiting the dressing room. Leave separately, allowing a minute or so between departures.

Tips & Warnings

• If you select the dressing room be aware that some fitting rooms have hidden security cameras. There may be an undetectable two-way mirror therefore; you're risking your privacy.