How to Avoid a Divorce

Contributor

By Andrea Hermitt
eHow Contributing Writer

Article Rating: (2 Ratings)

Very few people get married thinking that they may get divorced. Still, the annual divorce rate (in the United States) 38 percent. If you are married, or thinking about marriage, and do not want to be part of these statistics, here are some instructions you should follow.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

Patience
Values
Compassion
Forgiveness

Step 1

Choose your spouse carefully: The most sure-fire way to get divorced is to get married to the wrong person. This means you should not marry impulsively. You should have an engagement of a reasonable length to make sure that you, your spouse, and your families, are compatible. This means that you need to take the time to examine your spouse with your mind and not your heart.
Step 2

Ban the word “Divorce” from your conversations: Every time you introduce the word “divorce” into conversations and arguments, you get one-step closer to an actual divorce. When you and your spouse agree that divorce is not an option, you will find that you are more willing to work out disagreement.
Step 3

Forgive and forget: People will make mistakes in a marriage. They will cheat, they will lie, and they will hurt each other. Fortunately, spouses will forgive in many instances. Forgetting however is a different story. If you constantly bring up issues that were forgiven years ago, then you have not really forgiven. Allow the past to be in the past and look forward to a future together.
Step 4

Pick your fights. It is important to remember, as Dr. Phil might say, “You can be right, or your can be alone”. If you are willing to be wrong in arguments and disagreements, when you are passionate about a subject, your spouse may be more willing to hear you.
Step 5

Remember the golden rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This means that if you want attention, you need to give attention. If you want respect, you need to be respectful. If you want trust, you must be trustworthy. It is very common for the behavior of a spouse to improve because the other person has become more giving.
Step 6

Seek counseling when necessary. Sometimes counseling is necessary in order to work though old issues that one or the other person needs to get past. Just because you get married does not mean that your childhood problems have disappeared. You may still need to deal with them.

Comments

Judes said

Flag This Comment

on 8/10/2008 Good article...as long as both partners follow this advice it's workable.
Pity that it takes two to make a marriage but only one o break it up!