How to become a better conversationalist, for the aspiring social butterfly.

For some people, it can be difficult to fit in, relate to, and communicate effectively in various social settings like parties, business functions, or just while mingling. It's not as difficult as you may think to be socially accepted. Here are a few tips to help you make and maintain pleasant impressions.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Pleasant appearance and attitude
• Courage

1. SMILE
   
   Simple I know, but often overlooked. People will be more willing to talk to you if you look approachable, pleasant and inviting. When you smile, people are more inclined to smile back. So smile, show those pearly whites...or yellows.

2. Make the first move
   
   Take the initiative to approach someone and say hello. Make sure you follow step 1 while doing this. Tell them why you came over here, maybe because you recognize them from somewhere, you heard something nice about them. Whatever it is, let it be factual and pleasant.

3. Give an take.
   
   Don't feel like you have to control the entire conversation. Don't feel like you have to ask to many questions, or find different things to say about one topic unless it is truly interesting. Let them ask you questions too and don't be afraid to change the subject.

4. Relax
   
   Remember, these things are supposed to be FUN, so don't feel like you have to rehears or anything. It is always o.k. to be yourself, just let them see your warm side casual side.

5. Lighten up
   
   Learn how to take and give a joke. Don't be afraid to make fun of yourself even. Humor is a great way for people to see a good side of you, however don't force it and don't over do it.

6. Talk what you know.
   
   Don't feel as if you have to be an expert or a scholar on the subject being discussed, unless you really really are. People hate when you speak so confidently about something your totally wrong about. Try turning these statements into a question format. You can also use step 5 to make a joke about you lack of knowledge about something.

7. Maintain a positive attitude.
   
   It's self explanatory.

8. KISS
   
   Keep it short and simple. People have generally short attention spans, use long drawn out explanations sparingly. Direct, to the point responses keep people attention and will raise their overall understanding of what you say. On average, people only retain about 10% of what is being said in a conversation.

9. Ask open ended questions.
   
   If your going to ask a few questions (not too many), ask one that doesn't require a simple yes or no response. Let people express themselves. Pay attention to what they say and confirm what they say by paraphrasing it.

10. Incorporate others in the conversation.
    
    You can do this in many ways. Introducing someone is a good way. If you are talking about something that a particular person knows more than you about, call them over to join you. Before you know it, you could have a whole group around you having a big discussion. Try it.

Tips & Warnings

• Stay away from hot topics: religion, politics, workplace gossip.

[sanjna]

on 9/13/2008 cool !...

[SmithM99]

on 7/27/2008 thanks, amazing what a smile will do

[luv2blog]

on 6/27/2008 Great!

[2besure]

on 6/19/2008 Helpful tips for shy folks.

[vdeneen]

on 6/7/2008 great advice... introverts have a difficult time with this!