How to Stop Always Being in Unrequited Love
Unrequited love has been the subject of heart wrenching poems and love stories throughout the ages. Most of us experience unrequited love at some point in our lives, but if you continually find yourself in unrequited love instead of satisfying relationships, you may have a problem. Read on and learn more about how you can create healthier attachments to suitable love interests.
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Instructions
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Realize that unrequited love isn't really love. True love is a give-and-take relationship between two people. If you're doing all the giving while she's doing all the taking, then the basis of your relationship is attraction, not love.
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Analyze your attraction to the object of your unrequited love. Ask yourself if you're truly in love with him or if you merely love many things about him. If your answer is the latter, then remind yourself that you can find most or all of these qualities in another person who will love you back.
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See a therapist or read books on the subject of attachment. Sometimes people who repeatedly find themselves in an unrequited love scenario discover that they have issues with commitment or attachment. Deal with these problems now so you can have good relationships in the future.
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Detach yourself from your unrequited love interest. Spend time at places where you can meet other single people with whom you have something in common.
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Recognize that your unrequited love may make your crush uncomfortable. She may feel a sense of obligation or pity towards you. Letting go is better for both of you.
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Comments
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lanieg
Feb 01, 2010
Sorry, but I must stop you at step #1. Not only is unrequited *love* most certainly LOVE (fast food is still FOOD even if it's terrible for you), but it is also a type of love that gives the *illusion* of intensity because of the combination of depression, elation, rejection and hope that the person in love is probably experiencing all at once. It is not something that any normal person can just "get over" at the snap of your fingers. However, I agree that if a person is finding himself in an unrequited love situation over and over again, there *may* be some other factor influencing his attraction. Or he may just be having a string of lousy luck. Or maybe he just needs to become more adept at reading the signs of genuine interest. As for seeing a therapist, that would depend on how prevalent this pattern of falling for unattainable partners seems to be. If it's only been two or ...
