How to Give Pet Care Advice Without Offending

Many people consider their pets like their children—especially when it comes to unsolicited advice from friends and strangers. They may simply disagree because they “know what they’re doing” or resent the fact that you’re questioning their parenting skills and think you should mind your own business. But they don’t need to feel that way—here are some tips for sharing your wisdom without offending.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Let's start with the pet's appearance. If the pet is overweight, for instance, and you think he’s being overfed, you might say (whether it’s true or not) that your pet used to have a weight problem and you didn’t even realize it until the vet let you know. Tell them he suggested a low-fat or Senior formula food and to monitor what the pet eats by picking up any unfinished food rather than leaving it out all day. You might also mention that it's a very common problem that a lot of people are unaware of. This way you’re getting the point across by saying you were in the same boat and letting them off the hook as if it’s not their fault. If it’s a dog that seems to be lacking in the exercise department, maybe you can offer to walk him with your dog or bring her along to the dog park. That should sit better than: “Harley is looking kind of chunky.”

2. If you suspect that the pet's health is being neglected in certain areas due to money reasons, for instance the teeth look yellow or they might not be getting regular vaccinations--you might ask ("out of curiosity") where they get their pet's teeth cleaned or where they go for shots. You can say you bring your dog to a low-cost mobile clinic for shots and get the teeth cleaned yearly at a local pet supply store. Many people are unaware that they can get inexpensive vaccinations from veterinarians at mobile units and anesthesia-free teeth cleanings from professionals without having to go to their vet. Money is often a large factor in how people care for their pets and knowing some cost-saving tips can very often prevent neglect.

3. Give a gift card for a visit to the great new groomer in town if the pet looks like she hasn’t been brushed or had her nails clipped since two Christmases ago. That should work much better than: “Bailey really needs to get her behind to the salon.” Even if Bailey's mother might be thinking to herself: Hmm—I wonder if she/he is trying to tell me something—nobody will turn down a gift.

4. Bring “gifts” for the pet the next time you visit, just as you would a gift for the hosts and their children. Gifts might include: low-fat, healthy treats if the pet is overweight, a cool, new collar if the pet doesn't have one or the current collar looks too tight or uncomfortable, some healthy toys if you don’t see any around or if all you see, for instance, is rawhide (rawhide is dangerous), a comfortable bed, or how about a pet care handbook for their pet’s specific breed? A coffee table pet care/photo book will make it seem even more like a gift.

5. Give a Pet KardLet along with the gift. Pet KardLets are greeting card/booklets sold at gift and specialty stores that feature a specific breed of dog (or Mutt) or cat and include cute photos, breed history, feeding, grooming, and exercise tips (see Resources below).

6. If you see a pet left in a car that looks to be too hot, wait for the owner to return, if possible, and explain to them in a nice way that dogs and cats can get heatstroke within minutes and that it can often be fatal. Many people are truly unaware of how hot a car can get for an animal, so always give them the benefit of the doubt. Lecturing or yelling at them won’t get the point across any better and may make things worse for the pet. And if it appears to be a truly dangerous situation with locked doors and windows and no time to wait for the owner, call 911.

Tips & Warnings

• A good way to give advice without seeming like you're giving advice is to start a sentence with: "I just read an article on...
• If a pet seems to be in immediate danger, then come right out and say it. If the owner is offended, oh well. Their pet’s safety should be more important to them than their ego. And they’ll probably be grateful to you anyway, even if they don’t show it.

Resources

• Pet KardLets

[Desula]

on 5/30/2008 Thanks for the tips - I've always been told, "People don't want to know what's wrong with their children or their dogs." I like your subtle way to handle these issues.

[showpup]

on 5/29/2008 Good advice, Melissa. I should take some of this advice. I tend to be one of the all-to-blunt ones when I see a pet who needs some sort of improvement in their lives. Better chance of something positive being done if your nicer about it. I'll try to mend my ways. :) 5 stars