How to Forgive an Alcoholic

This is a tough one. Forgiveness comes from a place in your heart that is ready to let go of pain and welcome peace. Often we hold on to the pain because we've been feeling this way for so long, to feel any other way would leave us very vulnerable. And once you've had alcoholism in your family, or had to deal with it in a close friend, the forgiveness is hard to get to. Alcoholism leaves a trail of emotional wreckage. If you've worked through the pain, it might be a good time to start fresh and try to find a relationship with the alcoholic, whether they are still drinking or not. Read on for some guidance in forgiving an alcoholic.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Realize that her alcoholic drinking is not her fault. Have compassion for her problem, and let her have full responsibility for her problem. Let go of it.
2. List all the pain you feel like remembering -- all the things you had to go through because of this alcoholic's drinking. It's okay to make this as long as you want and as angry as you want. You may find yourself laughing at all the things you did when you thought you were "helping." Now look at that list and decide that everything is out of your heart and exists only on that paper. Now let go of it. Throw it away, burn it in the fireplace, but try to truly let it go up in smoke. Make yourself ready for something new to fill in the place.
3. List all the ways the alcoholic is important to you, every small thing. This list you can keep.
4. If the alcoholic is not drinking, decide you will start from today to build a better relationship with that person. You don't need to tell him you forgive him, but if it will benefit him to hear it, tell him. Otherwise just move forward on this new path and let go of the rest. Treat him as a new person.
5. If the alcoholic is still drinking, practice detachment with compassion, so as not to get yourself hurt by her behavior. You can forgive to help ease your own heart, and focus on ways to brighten your own life. You have no power over the alcoholic or her behavior.
6. When you feel resentment creeping up again, just let it creep right over you and move beyond it. It's an old habit, so expect it to try and visit you. It will take time to adjust to a new way of thinking, but it will happen!
7. If you get overwhelmed, just step back from the alcoholic to give yourself time to clear your own head. Forgiveness really has nothing to do with the alcoholic, it has to do with you letting go of your anger, taking care of yourself and filling your own life with more positive thoughts and actions.