How to Balance a To Do List with a To Be List

Question: At the end of a hectic day what grows both shorter and longer? Answer: A “To-do” list.

If you’re a parent, you’re blessed. Blessed and busy. Your “To-do” list is brimming with chores, projects that were intended to be completed last month, groceries to buy for next week’s lunch, milk and cat food to pick up right away. Perhaps on the list is a week-old reminder to mail a birthday gift. Unfortunately, you can’t check that off yet because you keep forgetting to pick up wrapping paper. “Buy wrapping paper” moves up the list from number nine to number two. In the midst of all that a parent manages each day, reviewing “To-dos” sometimes gets pushed aside and items slide by unnoticed. At the end of the day you check off five “To-dos” and add seven. There’s plenty of doing and not enough downtime.

Here are seven ways to balance never-ending doing.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• A playful attitude
• Kids
• Dogs
• Desire to enjoy daily life

1. Repeat this phrase: I’m a human being, not human doing. Business is a habit that leads to burnout and feeling drained. When you’re cranky, snapping, numbing out and ignoring your family that’s a signal that you’re overworked and overdoing.
2. Stop. Instead of pushing yourself to be perfect mom or perfect dad. Stop. Be Mom, that’s enough. Stop. Be Dad. Kids benefit when parents relax. Stop. Remind yourself to slow down, catch your breath and do less.
3. Sit on the curb and watch the bugs go by. I often ask kids: “What’s the most fun you’ve had with your parents lately?” One thoughtful 10-year-old boy carefully considered my question and responded: “Yesterday, my Dad came home from work and didn’t change his clothes right away. Dad said we could sit on the curb and watch the bugs go by.”
4. Follow kids’ examples. If you have forgotten how to be, watch kids. Kids are better at being than parents. Dogs are good at being too. Instead of going through the day at hurry-up speed, go through the day in kid or dog mode.
5. Write a “To-be” list. Make a list of the ways that you’d like to go through the day. Instead of focusing on accomplishments, focus on slowing down. Instead of pushing yourself to complete the tasks, focus on enjoying the process. For example, a “To-be” list might begin like this:
   1. Wake up
   2. Sit
   3. Smile
   4. Sing while making breakfast
   5. Dance while doing dishes
   6. Sit on park bench
   7. Notice dogs
6. Post a “To-be” list next to the “To-do” list. Balance every “To-do” with a “To-be.” Keep it equal. Part work and part play. A playful attitude smooths out a stressed-out vibe. Work if you must, but whistle and sing while doing it.
7. Sing the "Do Be" Song. Do Be, Do Be, Do Be Do.