How to Deal With Grief and Loss

Grief is the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you. It is a natural part of life. Grief is a typical reaction to death, divorce, job loss, a move away from friends and family, or loss of good health due to illness. Understanding what grief is and how it progresses can help the process of working through one's sorrow.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Recognize the feelings of grief.
   
   Just after a death or loss, you may feel empty and numb, as if you are in shock. You may notice physical changes such as trembling, nausea, trouble breathing, muscle weakness, dry mouth, or trouble sleeping and eating.
   
   You may become angry - at a situation, a particular person, or just angry in general. Almost everyone in grief also experiences guilt. Guilt is often expressed as "I could have, I should have, and I wish I would have" statements.
   
   People in grief may have strange dreams or nightmares, be absent-minded, withdraw socially, or lack the desire to return to work. While these feelings and behaviors are normal during grief, they will pass.
2. Recognize that grieving takes time.
   
   Grief lasts as long as it takes you to accept and learn to live with your loss. For some people, grief lasts a few months. For others, grieving may take years.
   
   The length of time spent grieving is different for each person. There are many reasons for the differences, including personality, health, coping style, culture, family background, and life experiences. The time spent grieving also depends on your relationship with the person lost and how prepared you were for the loss.
3. Recognize the four stages necessary to work through grief.
   
   Every person who experiences a death or other loss must complete a four-step grieving process:
   
   (1) Accept the loss;
   (2) Work through and feel the physical and emotional pain of grief;
   (3) Adjust to living in a world without the person or item lost; and
   (4) Move on with life.
   
   The grieving process is over only when a person completes the four steps.
4. Recognize that you don't need to bear your grief alone.
   
   Friends, family, and community can be an endless source of comfort in difficult times. There are also many organizations -- in communities and online -- that can provide information and support for those coping with grief.
   
   See the resource section directly below for links to these organizations.