How to Be a More Sensitive Parent

If you’re like me, you probably cringe when you hear parents scolding a crying child. Perhaps you shake your head bewildered when you hear the phrase: “You’re just too sensitive." When did the notion of being too sensitive originate? Is there really such a thing? Creativity and imagination thrive on the ability to see clearly, to understand deeply and to respond to the subtleties. Kids are often told to “buck up," “suck it up” and “be tough.” In doing so, they loose touch with their sweet and sensitive side. Toughness is the armor that hides our vulnerable, loving, creative natures. We’re taught from a young age to put on masks and compete. We’re told not to cry, to hurry up, to pay attention until our "To do" lists are so long that we have no time to "be." With such admonitions we quickly become human doings instead of human beings. Here are seven ways to set toughness aside and accentuate the sensitive side.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• An open heart

1. Acknowledge sensitivity with positive words. When a child expresses a soft feeling or a conflicting thought, replace disapproval with a positive affirmation. Instead of scolding "Don’t be so sensitive,” describe the feeling in a positive way such as: “You’re perceptive” or “That’s an insightful observation.” “I like your sensitive side.”
2. Emphasize the value of experiences over possessions. With the barrage of advertisements suggesting “you can’t live with out this,” it’s no wonder kids get caught up in thinking that having the best equals being the best. Instead of piling up the closets and drawers with possessions collecting dust, give your children experiences. While it might be nice to have another baseball mitt, it’s truly more fulfilling playing catch with an attentive parent. Set an example by showing them how happy you are without the newest car or sports equipment.
3. Be Generous. Since sharing, giving and helping out feels good to both the giver and the receiver, it’s important to teach our children the joys of being generous. The ability to give of oneself and one’s possessions is not built into a young child’s makeup. Generosity is learned. Involve them in sharing their toys or candy. Talk about the positives of sharing. Find ways to lend a helping hand.
4. Teach kids to be discriminating viewers about what they watch. Turn off violence. Walk out of bad movies. Don’t waste the day on input that brings you down, makes you nervous or adds stress and worry. Focus on the sweet sensitive side of entertainment.
5. Show compassion to animals and nature. Begin by teaching young children how to gently hold a kitten or cuddle a puppy. Point out birds and put out a feeder. Talk about ways to care for the planet. Go for nature walks and talk to plants. Smell flowers. Make a game of hugging trees.
6. Practice random acts of kindness. Go above and beyond what’s expected. Whenever you notice that your child has gone out of his way to be compassionate or kind, be sure to let your child know how proud you are of his acts of kindness. You set the tone by being kind to strangers. Whether you’re stuck in traffic or waiting in line, practicing politeness is always a thoughtful gesture.
7. Be Warm. Children are learning even when you’re not aware that you’re teaching. They’re watching how you treat others, and since you’re their most influential role model, they’ll follow in your footsteps. When you treat others with welcoming kindness, everyone benefits.