How to Please Your Man :: Queer Tricks for Straight Chick

My straight girlfriends sometimes ask me for pointers on how to please their men. Because I occasionally feel like I can barely please my own man, I decided to ask around. I talked to other guys—straight and gay. So now when a girlfriend asks me this question, I’m totally prepared. In fact, I tell them to sit down and take notes.  But first a confession: Sometimes when gay men listen to straight women talk about their relationship woes, we just want to slap some sense into them. We especially can’t understand the women that don’t really seem to get excited about sex. Sex with a man is great! Men love sex, and a straight man is going to be very responsive to a woman who shares the interest.  Unfortunately, there are many women out there who aren’t always willing to demonstrate their abilities for fear of being labeled a **** or a ****. To me, this is crazy. Of course, you can completely fulfill your man without being a ****. In fact, your satiated man will now appreciate you more than ever before, and your reputation will be far from tainted. Below, here are five tips to get your started on the right course in the bedroom (or beyond… see Tip # 5).

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Tip # 1. Blow jobs are key. Men love having their dicks sucked. Unlike pizza, however, there is such a thing as a bad blow job. Giving a poor blow job can amount to a lot of work, because the worse the blow job, the longer it will take for him to reach climax. 
   
   Try these techniques to find out what works best for your man. Stroke his shaft while you work. Twirl your tongue around the head. Tug gently on his balls and explore his perenium with your fingers. You’ll figure out quickly when you’ve mastered the right combination of moves. Also, consider swallowing. He’ll love it. The taste might not be ideal, but it passes quickly.
2. Tip # 2. Nipples! Ladies, you’re not the only ones who have sensitive nipples. I’ve known a couple of guys who seem to have constant nipple erections. Take my word for it, if he’s got sensitive nipples you’ll know it by the way he moans when you play with them.
3. Tip #3. Your breasts are a wonderland. Your man could play in your bosom all day long if you’d let him. He may want to show you just how much he loves them by using them in place of your vagina. You’ll figure it out. It might feel a bit strange to you, but he’ll be in heaven.
4. Tip #4. This one may yield some gasps, but take it from me—gay men and straight men alike love anal sex. Chances are that your straight man wants to poke you in the “third output,” and if he hasn’t asked you yet, it may be coming soon. Yes, it can be uncomfortable, if you let it. If you relax and, perhaps, enjoy a glass of wine or two, it can be wonderful. Make sure he treats you gently if you agree to play along. Substantial foreplay will be necessary to make the transition much more enjoyable. Lube is also key.
5. Tip #5. On occasion, men like risk attached to their sexual activity. The added fear of being caught or watched adds a bit of sexual excitement that produces endorphins like none other. Try it in the car, on the beach, in the park, in front of an open window, in your backyard, or even in a dressing room. Sex is supposed to be fun, not mundane and routine. If you haven’t had sex anywhere but your own bed, its time to get adventurous. He’ll love what has come over you, and so will you.

Tips & Warnings

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