How to Tame Your Tongue

Have you ever said something that you couldn't take back? How about wanting to type an angry e-mail? If you have a tendency to speak before you think, this article will offer tips on how to take a step back and think before you react.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A desire to maintain positive relationships.

1. 
   Remain Calm!

   Remain calm. Often easier said than done, it is really the first step to doing the right thing. E-mail is the form of communication that is most easily and most often misconstrued. The tone of an e-mail may not sound angry or accusatory to the sender, but may to the receiver. Staying calm can assist you before you send a reply that you may regret later.

2. 
   Don't Share Your Anger

   Take a time out. If you are angered by an e-mail, close it and step away from your computer. When you are angry, it is best (especially in the work place) to go somewhere by yourself. The power of wanting to share the e-mail with one of your co-workers can be too great to ignore. It can also cause your co-worker to gossip to another and it may eventually get back to the person who wrote it, maybe even the boss. This reflects poorly upon you so avoid it at all costs!

3. 
   Look Twice!

   Take another look at the correspondence. By taking a time out, you may find that by giving it a second look, it wasn't as bad as you thought. If you determine that you can now respond in a positive way, then do so. If not, go to the next step.

4. 
   Who Authored It?

   Consider the author of the correspondence. Are they a subordinate, a co-worker, or your manager? Did it come from someone outside of the company who may not be aware of policy or procedure? By considering who wrote it, it will assist you in determining the next step.

5. 
   Face-To-Face

   Talk to the person who sent you the correspondence (if in-house) face to face. Speaking to the person will eliminate misunderstandings. If this resolves the issue, you can gently suggest that they come see you in person next time a challenge arises.

6. 
   Don't Break the Chain

   Remember the chain of command! If you speak with the person face-to-face and the issue is not resolved, it is customary to then go to YOUR manager (not theirs) and describe the issue that you're having with the individual. Your manager and the other person's manager can then work it out amongst themselves to decide the best course of action.

7. 

   Not all correspondence requires a response. Some times it is simply best to do what is being requested and wipe your hands of it.

[Tippy]

on 7/24/2008 Excellent advice

[cookvegan]

on 7/18/2008 Nice article. Just like grandma used to say - "You get more bees with honey." :)

[DUSTYMILLS]

on 7/18/2008 Aways best to think before you speak, something that is sometimes learned the hard way.....thank you .

[westerngirl]

on 7/7/2008 This is a great article. I sometimes find myself saying things I wished I hadn't. So I will try your Ideas to see if they can help me remain claim.

[djoki]

on 7/3/2008 i think its not always a solution to run away from being angry and control tongue,just to try to be calm and take a time out,sometimes others wait form a manager in the same moment a big decision so its useful for the manager to have a training about how to plan and make a decision in hard and mess company situations .......