How to Marry an Englishman

Many American women have a thing about Englishmen. Maybe it’s the Mr. Darcy haughtiness factor, or the boyish Beckham factor, or the Jamie Oliver great cooking factor… however you slice it, the draw of the Englishman is strong. But before you start dreaming of that flat in Notting Hill and your adorable children saying things like “Mum” and “more pudding”, take a few minutes to sort out a mental plan.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Passport
• Money
• Sense of humor (humour!)

1. Watch films set in England but avoid Hugh Grant. I’m sure there are plenty of men in England who are exactly like the characters that Hugh Grant plays in those Richard Curtis films, but the likelihood of you meeting any are probably pretty slim. Movies and TV shows aren’t reality but watching a few like The Last Detective, The Full Monty, Fever Pitch (with Colin Firth), Mike Leigh films etc… will give you a slightly more realistic view of Englishmen than what Americans are used to seeing.
2. Recognize that many Englishmen, not all, have a significant cultural identity tied to football (soccer for us yanks), taking the mick (good-natured teasing), and having a few pints at the pub. And by a few, I mean four to seven. So if you don’t want a man who has to watch their team play Man United at home no matter what or if you are in recovery and prefer a non-drinker… you might have some trouble (apologies lads for the sweeping generalizations!).
3. Go to England. Well, yes, this is obvious. While on vacation, I met my English husband in London at a pub (where else?). Hang out at the pub, food aisles at Marks & Spencer, the Tate, Regent’s park or whatever you’re interested in until you see someone you’d like to meet. Generally speaking, it’s best if you don’t make the first move but use your best judgment.
4. Englishmen often say that they like the confidence and mystery of American women. It’s important to realize that many Europeans develop their understanding of Americans through TV and film (just as I’ve mentioned in step 1) so they might be surprised to discover that you didn’t vote for George Bush, live in California but don’t surf, care about what’s going on in Africa, eat healthfully, or what have you. These little surprises make for some interesting conversation, which along with “do you say lift or elevator” banter… could very well lead to a lasting relationship. And yes, even marriage!