How to Give a Belated Mother's Day Gift

We cook, we clean, we give birth to our children. All we want in return is to be remembered and idolized a few days a year. Is that too much to ask? If you forgot Mom's Day, don't worry, we understand. You can make it up to us.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• A good excuse
• A nice present
• A good bribe

1. Come up with an excuse. If you're old enough to be reading this, you're going to need one. We won't let you know that we're upset that you forget, but we really are. The older you are, the more important the truth of your excuse will be more important. For college age children, go ahead and tell us you were abducted by aliens. If your mom is old enough to remember The Great War, you should think of something more plausible.
2. Offer to make it up to her. The best way to do this is to have just you and mom time. Take her to a restaurant, without the rest of the clan, to catch up on what's happening in her life. If your excuse included some kind of dilemma, make sure to get her advice on it (after all, moms like to stay involved).
3. Bring her a nice gift. We don't want anything fancy, so don't break the bank (save that for Christmas and our birthday). Be sure to give it to us during dinner so we can brag to the waitress and all the other moms in the restaurant.
4. If you can't do any of the above because you're too far away, we understand. A phone call will do just fine (flowers and cute stuffed animal are appreciated as well).
5. Bring something from the grandkids (or better yet, leave yourself at home and send them). Your mom had fun with you while you were young. Send gifts care of your children and be sure to pick them up before they get rowdy. If you want to take everyone out, be sure it's lunch time so your mom can get the kids as wound up as she wants to in the restaurant.

Tips & Warnings

• Drop the "L" word at least once (it's OK if you sound uncomfortable, it's the thought that counts).
• Hug her a lot.
• Offer to do that thing around the house that dad's been promising to get done since 1998.
• Don't go overboard. We can smell fear and guilt.
• Don't make a big deal out of it. If you're going to make us think Mother's Day is an inconvenience for you, we'd rather you'd just forgotten it.
• Don't forget that we just want to know that you're alive, well and still need us. As long as you communicate that, you can skip the rest. =)