How to Recognise Your Partner is a Porn Addict

Porn addiction can be destructive in a relationship. In a world where pornography can be accessed so easily and exposed to the masses in gargantuan volume- its hardly a taboo subject any more. Pornography comes in all shapes, sizes, colours, creeds and gender. It is not restricted as to how it affects lives, couples and families. Undoubtedly there are countless couples in the world that enjoy a good 'stick film' and their relationship can benefit from it. On the flipside to that coin, are the couples that live their daily lives with having to 'deal' with the issue of pornography. Here are some steps to help you ascertain whether your loved one is a porn addict.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Maturity
• Strength
• Basic P.I. Skills

1. Know what they are doing when your not around to see. Most porn addicts keep their addictions as private as possible. They'll require time alone to indulge. Know what their hobbies and day to day operations are and whether they are engaging in them when you are away for the day or night. We all know where assumptions can get us!
2. Do you wake up during the night to an empty space?
   A nightly bed partner gone MIA could be a clue. Check up on what they're doing and don't make too much noise when doing so. A porn addicted lover is on high alert and probably knows every squeak and creek of the floorboards and doors. They also have a 'hare trigger' response to video/t.v remote controls and mouse buttons, so take note of what is in their hands.
3. Ask. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. Ask your partner if they are watching, perusing or downlading any porn. He or she may just fess up. Some people living with addiction, may deny or only partially admit that they indulge in pornographic literature and media. If you have concerns, be calm, clear and kind. Your goal here is to know the truth, not to judge.
4. Check them out. Have a squizz on what is going on with his workbag, car boot, closet space, drawers, shed, garage, . Even check the manhole to the roof of your home, his boat, work trailer and the basement beneath your house. Addicts can be logical creatures who will quickly work out where the 'last' place you'll look - will be.
5. Do they have any hobbies? Addictions eat up precious brain matter that could be best used for developing healthier interests and skills. If you find your partner lacking in this area, find out what behaviour they are supplementing with. Whether its pornography, online gambling, chatrooms, drugs, philandering or just being a couch potato- a lack of other interests may be an indicator of an underlying problem. A lack of close friends can indicate this also, as then addiction eats into their social life. Porn addiction, unlike drug and alcohol addiction is usually practiced by the addict on their own. If you are considering a meaningful relationship, clarification of their activities when you are away is a must for your own peace of mind.
6. A one track mind?. Some porn addicts are quite easy to spot, if you look closer. If your beloved has a constant roving eye, seeks out television programmes depicting females as sexual objects, has video and pictures saved to his mobile phone, has regular time on the PC in private, knows about the porn industry ie. actresses, actors, production company or regularly buys sexually orientated material and media- it may be a symptom to the larger problem. Flirting with porn, sexual paraphernalia and the like can be healthily practised by many couples. A porn addict may try to get you to view these images in the same reference that they do. They also will have a taste for which kind of porn they like to watch. When it comes to porn, there are many genres.
   Taking note on what your partner is watching can give you an insight on what their sexual desires are. You may not be comfortable with that.
7. Sexual Stereotype. Some porn addicts allow their addiction to dictate how they perform sexually. If your partner re-incarnates scenes with you in the bedroom that are reminiscent of a Bella Donna or Jenna Jamieson Matinee, he overly uses mirrors to view himself and only portion of your body or needs to dominate you to achieve orgasm, you may have a porn addict in your bed. Porn and sex addicts cannot experience the divine in truly connecting and making love to another spirit. They are limited to their addictions and may seek to make you a participant and enabler. In no way is this 'making love'. For an classic example of this behaviour- in film, watch American Psycho.
8. They suddenly want to try out an alternative sexual position. Yes people, we are talking about anal sex. They have never mentioned it before and suddenly, you arse is literally on the line. Or, perhaps its a request they have brought up a few times and won't let up even though it's not your cup of tea? Chances are they are indulging in this fanatsy without you and are supplementing it with pornography. Either way, its your right to know whom you are allowing into your bed and maybe your life.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't take porn addiction personally. Ever.
• Don't be confrontational. Catching your partner a couple of times is really no big deal and it is embarressing to them. Don't blow it out of proportion.
• Don't get down on yourself. A porn addicted partner is a very selfish being. Even if you had the perfect body, sweetest face and horniest demeanour, they would continue their behaviour.
• It could be a maturity issue. If your partner is young, they may bring into the relationship past 'single' habits. A heartfelt and sincere talk about the 'habit' should put the issue to bed (ahem!). A logical and caring partner without this addiction will quickly appreciate your concern and want to stop. An addict will not. They may even begin to use their 'immaturity' as an excuse.
• Porn addiction, which can be wholly devastating to any blissful coupledom, can also be a symptom to more complicated mental problems. Sex addicts also have strong ties with pornography as do some adults whom were abused sexually as children. You may be suprised with what your really facing. Find out who you are with, after all- its your life and your heart on the line.
• Staying with a porn or sex addict that refuses help or is in denial will be detrimental to your health, your life and your children.