How to tell your mom you're really depressed

When you don't feel normal, and this includes depression, it can be difficult to talk to others about it and get help and support. This is true of adults and teens. As depression can be serious, even life-threatening, it is important to not keep it to yourself. These tips can help you tell your mom that you're really depressed and get the understanding and help that you need.

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Instructions

1. Understand that people of all ages and all walks of life can experience depression, even when life is going well. Avoid feeling guilty as this is no more a person's fault then developing a cold or a serious illness. The one thing that is our responsibility is to seek help when we need it, as we all do from time to time. Be very proud of yourself for taking action.

2. Know in advance that some parents understand depression better than others just as some parents are easier to talk to than others. Plan for the best, but realize that some family members take depression personally, especially when it's their kids or spouse that is suffering. As you continue to talk about the problems and let them know that you are not blaming them, they may respond better. Their ability to relate often depends on how they were brought up to think about mental health issues, but if they do not understand, it is not your fault.

3. Write down what you want to say to your mom to let her know that you're really depressed, if you feel it will help. This can be a basic list of how depression is affecting your life or more detailed. Discussions can get side-tracked and having a list helps. Also, include your thoughts on what may make you feel better if you have some ideas.

4. Realize that there is never a great time for difficult news. But if it makes you feel better, set a time to talk when your mom is more receptive to listen, such as after dinner. However, if you feel hopeless, suicidal or have thoughts of harming yourself or others, do not delay. If your mom is not around, call 911 or the local emergency room. If there seems to never be a good time, just let your mom know that you need to talk "now." Things would be much more difficult for her if you did not let her know of your depression.

5. Invite her to sit down to talk about a serious matter. This will set the tone of the conversation and prepare her for listening. It is okay to simply tell your mom you're really depressed from the start. Getting straight to the point often works. If this makes you uncomfortable, start with telling you're mom that you're feeling bad or unable to concentrate on school work or sad but can't cry. Whatever the problems are, express them.

6. Try to avoid blame even if your family seems to add to your depression. Let your mom know that even though you feel really depressed you are seeking her advice for help on how to make your situation better. This shows that you want to take responsibility for your feelings, even though depression is not your fault, either.

7. Don't give up opening up if you do not like your mother's response after telling her you're really depressed. This is a common experience. Sometimes people express themselves poorly, feel badly that they do not understand a situation well or fell helpless themselves.

8. Tell a school counselor or health professional that you are really depressed if you need more support. It is worth the risk of offending your mom, which it likely won't. Most loved ones need some time to adjust to any kind of illness or difficulty that affects their family. Soon they should better understand, especially if professionals can help them to do so. The important thing is that you, the sufferer, gets help first.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that as long as you are alive, there is hope.
• Depression is not a person's fault, nor means weakness. Telling someone that you're really depressed takes courage.
• Know that other people have and do feel the way that you do, you're not alone.
• These tips are designed to help promote a good environment for communication, as not feeling understood can make one more depressed. But if you feel suicidal, hopeless or are have thoughts of hurting yourself or others, do not delay telling an adult or call 911 for help.