How to Spend Quality Weekday Time With Your Tween

Though they may not always come right out and say it, being a tween (not quite a teen and too little to be considered a child) it no easy task. They are torn between impressing their friends and their need to spend time with parents and other family members. Here are some simple ideas for working time in with your tween each day.

Instructions

1. Turn drive time into "Gab Fest." With a little prodding, you can drum up a conversation with your kids while you are performing your daily taxi duty. If friends are there, get them involved also. It is wise to use this time to open the lines of communication, solve any problems that have come up or just be silly. This takes little effort, and your kids may not even be aware of what you are doing. It sure beats, "Son, I would like to have a talk with you." That approach tends to clam them up right away.

2. Sometimes homework can be a lonely time, so kids will rush through it or perform poorly. Why not make study time a family affair. Use homemade drills, flash cards or games. If this is not possible, have everyone study quietly together while you read a book for a set period of time. When it's done, discuss what you did, including what you liked, the struggles you face, or why your book is worth reading.

3. Play the game "Mad Libs." This is a fill-in-the-blank grammar and parts of speech game kids love. It is available at most bookstores and larger retailers. It is the silliest of all games and teaches grammar painlessly. A family that laughs and plays together is more likely to succeed. This may also open your kids up to spending more time with you or talking to you about other concerns.

4. If you work at home or bring your kids to the office, take a small break and take a walk with them. Or play role reversal and let them sit at your desk and play "boss" or step into your work shoes and try your job on for size. You can also have them work side by side in your own business by sorting, taking simple calls, shredding or helping with envelopes or labels. This can give kids a sense of belonging and ownership in your business.

5. Talk a lot before bedtime. This is generally a time when children need to let off steam and open up to you. If you are able to, watch a TV program or listen to music together once homework and chores are completed.

6. Prepare dinner together. Have your children sort, measure, peel, mix, stir or watch the food while it is cooking. Let them measure the ingredients and combine it. This will give you a chance to talk and let them know the work involved in preparing a meal.

7. Play board or outdoor games together. If time allows and you are in an area where weather permits, you may all take a walk together either before or after dinner. Board games can be one night a week or at your tween's request.

8. If you work late, try to get home early at least one to two nights per week. If your tween is in activities, show your support by attending games, plays or recitals.

9. If you are in a club, church or other organization, consider volunteering together at least once per month. This shows your child that you are not only willing to give back to others but that they can make a difference also.

Tips & Warnings

• Take turns talking and listening, no matter how difficult or touchy the subject. Tweens desperately need to be heard and feel validated.

• Ask for suggestions on activities your tween would like to do.

• Do not force any activities on your tween, if possible; just offer.