How to Recognize an Abusive Personality

Healthy-minded people obviously seek to avoid abusive people but sometimes it is not so easy to recognize an abusive personality. In other cases we adapt to negative behavior, especially if it comes from a family member or person in authority. Since psychological abuse is as serious as physical abuse it is important to learn and recognize the warning signs early. Read on for some of the common traits found in abusive people.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Honesty
• <br>Professional help (as needed)

1. Suspect people who regularly cut down others in a seemingly joking manner – especially involving gender or appearance. If the person makes you laugh it may be difficult to recognize the abusive personality traits, but this is an indicator that the person wants to feel superior to others to feel adequate.

2. Look for signs of poor self-esteem such as displays of false over-confidence or cockiness. A prime but extreme example is the so-called “Napoleon Complex,” found in men of short stature who mistake aggressive behavior for masculinity. This is to compensate for what they feel is a deficiency, their height. People who do not feel good about themselves tends to either take it out on themselves or others.

3. Consider angry outbursts a red flag. While it would seem like this is an easy way to recognize an abusive personality, many abusers are convincing and charming in their apologies. Many will also claim it is an unusual occurrence based on some external event.

4. Understand that guilt is a frequent trait used by abusive people and one that may be difficult to recognize if you are one to easily feel guilty. An abusive person may try to cause you to feel shame, which is often more destructive. Here the victim has done nothing wrong but is convinced otherwise. If guilt is used frequently by a person to compel you to act or feel a certain way, this is abusive.

5. Recognize that an abusive personality attempts to control others by one or more means, not limited to yelling, physical control, intimidation, guilt, withholding emotional or physical needs, and producing a sense of inferiority in others. Some forms of abuse are more subtle than others.

6. Appreciate your sensitivity to words that are distressful to you such as profane language, racial or vulgar slurs, name-calling and the like. As bad language is somewhat common, it is more difficult to associate this with an abusive personality. Typically, however, a stable person is in control of their actions and their words. A cuss word does not an abusive person make, but notice the context and how the words make you feel.

7. Listen to the small voice in your heart and head to better recognize an abusive personality. Often we want to think the best of people, especially those whom we love. But if you feel like you are walking on eggshells or often feel bad around a person, it is enough of a reason to not be around them whether they are overtly abusive or not.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are a victim of psychological abuse or physical abuse you may feel guilt or shame as do many victims. It is essential that you seek professional help as the negative consequences can last a lifetime if not addressed.
• <br>A family physician is equipped to help you recognize abuse and obtain help.
• Know that any physical abuse no matter how small should never be tolerated. A year may pass until the next incident, but there will be a next episode of abuse and likely more serious.

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[awkword]

on 9/19/2009 The events & circumstances surrounding the Phillip Gorrido (Godzilla, Guerilla, oh... whatever!) have brought Stockholm Syndrome to our attention, and I see some similarities here. The Shame & Guilt applied to the victim, and the brief & occasional friendly gesture, etc. What do you think? leo

[wingnprayer]

on 3/21/2009 I think I see my wife in about all of these preceeding steps. I may require more reading/research in order to be more clear on whether or not she really is emotionally and verbally abusive because I believe that calling someone abusive should not be done casually from a first reading of a website, Okay? Besides that, I am still a little emotional because of an episode earlier this evening after my yardwork.She's gone now but will be back soon.I find it interesting that other guys can be victims, too. I was thinking "Who can I go to with this"?I'll be back next weekend.Thanks:WingnPrayer