How to win a gothic girl's heart

It takes a special person, and special gifts, to win a Goth girl's heart.

Even though she’s clad in all black and adorned with skulls and spiders, a Gothic girl has a special place in her heart for romance. It takes a special touch and a special person to win a Gothic girl’s heart. Black candles and myrrh incense will help, as will these simple tips.

Instructions

1. Bring her dead flowers, or at least black ones. Most florists would be overjoyed to hook up a special order of a dozen black roses infused with grayish-blue baby’s breath.

2. Plan romantic outings, like a picnic in the cemetery or an excursion out to an abandoned farm or condemned apartment buildings.

3. Set the scene for a sexy evening by lighting black candles, myrrh incense and flipping on some deep, haunting cello music.

4. Write a dramatic yet heartfelt poem about how you’d die for her and how everyone should die, period.

5. Offer to help with her chores, like picking up her vampire cape or eighteenth-century corsets from the dry cleaner.

6. Accept her the way she is and love every minute of it.

Tips & Warnings

• Other special gifts include skulls, crossbones, bats and spiders. You can do well on post-Halloween sales to stock up on gifts to give her throughout the year.

• <br>Don’t pretend to be a Goth if you’re not comfortable with it just to appease her. But do convert if it feels right.

• <br>Let her be herself when she meets the parents.

• Never make fun of her makeup, hairstyle or wardrobe.

• <br>Never try to change her.