How to tell your parents you are following a religion they don't approve of

If you grew up in a religious family, your parents may expect you to follow in their steps and join the same church. If you have other ideas, you will probably find a lot of resistance on their part. Knowing how to approach and what to say is important if you want to keep harmony in the family and especially if you want them to eventually accept your decision.

Instructions

1. Research the religion well. Using the Internet, find historical documents showing how well established the religion is, what it really believes in and the myths surrounding it. You can also try searching for the names of famous people (especially people your parents admire and respect) who are part of this religion.

2. Be ready for a confrontation. You shouldn’t start the conversation looking to argue, but keep in mind that this is possible outcome. If your parents have good reason not to approve of this religion, chances are they will do and say as much as possible to get you out of it.

3. Have an explanation ready. No, you don’t need to explain why you chose this religion, but it helps if you can support this decision with facts. Try to think of the reasons why you joined, what attracted you to it, what are the positive things of their philosophy you agree with. Show your parents this wasn’t an impulsive decision but that you actually took the time to understand what you were joining.

4. Let your parents know you are not there to discuss your choice but rather to inform them of it. Emphasize it’s important for you to have them be part of your life, even if your choices are not what they would want for you.

5. Offer to take them along with you to a celebration. They may be more acceptant of your choice if they can see for themselves what you are doing. Keep in mind that they may be scared for your safety rather than simply upset, so showing them that there is nothing to be afraid of will make a big difference.

Tips & Warnings

• If your parents are prone to anger or to react too dramatically, you may want to hold off on telling them until you are absolutely sure of your commitment to this religion. There is no need to start a confrontation if you are likely to change your mind soon.