How to teach manners to a toddler
Teaching manners to a toddler can be a daunting task. Babies are born into the world with a self-centered focus: they cry and an adult meets their needs. Transitioning a child from being a self-centered baby to a considerate toddler takes a lot of work, but the rewards are well worth the effort. Here is how to teach manners to a toddler.
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Instructions
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Model the behavior you want to teach. Toddlers are always watching the behavior of the adults and older children in their lives. The more you model good manners, the faster your toddler is likely to use good manners himself.
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Focus on one behavior at a time. You cannot expect a toddler to go from being a self-centered baby to a completely well-mannered toddler overnight. Focus on one behavior at a time and only move on to a new behavior when the last one has been mastered.
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Introduce the bead jar. Tell your toddler that each time you catch her doing something good, you are going to put one bead or marble in the jar. When the jar is full, she will get a prize, such as a family ice cream outing or a new (inexpensive) toy. Ideally, the beads or marbles should be sized so that it will take your toddler 3 to 4 weeks to fill the jar.
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Explain the behavior you want to see. Begin with one behavior that you want to change, such as saying "please" or "thank you." Tell the child what you want him to do and practice doing this behavior together so he understands what is expected.
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Reward good behavior. Each time your child does a behavior that you want to reinforce, reward her with one bead. Allow her to put the bead in the jar herself. Make a big deal about how many beads she has earned and encourage her to take pride in being caught using good manners.
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Remind the child when he forgets. If your child forgets to do a behavior that you have already taught, say, "Too bad. You could have gotten a bead." Let him figure out what he forgot to do. Only remind him if he cannot remember himself.
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Build upon what your child has learned. Be generous with the bead jar, reinforcing any good behavior you see. Once your child is consistently using her manners in one capacity, introduce another behavior you want to see while continuing to reward consistent good manners in other areas.
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Tips & Warnings
Be generous with the bead jar in the beginning to encourage the child until he gets the hang of the role of the bead jar.
<br>For big behaviors that you want to change quickly, reward the child with two or three beads instead of just one.
<br>Only use the bead jar for positive reinforcement. While it might be tempting to threaten to remove beads for bad behavior, doing so can undermine the purpose of the bead jar. You want the child to take pride in how well she is doing every time she sees the jar filling up.
- Photo Credit (c) Faith Allen
