How to Come to Terms With the Death of a Loved One

Death is something that we all face at one time or another. When you lose a loved one, it is one of the hardest things you will ever face. Here are some suggestions to help you come to terms with the death of a loved one.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

The Initial Shock

1. When you first learn that a loved one has died, it is usually a mixture of shock and grief. You may feel mad, angry, sad, depressed or even feel as though it is not real. The important first step is to allow yourself to feel. Do not try to ignore these emotions. Ultimately, you must feel these emotions to come to terms with the death of a loved one. This is a good start. Just feel.

2. The next thing to remember is that not everyone around you will experience the death of a loved one in the same way. Just as our relationships with one another are always different, so too are our emotions, particularly at a time like this. Allow others to deal in their own way, and do not feel like your way is wrong because it is different.

3. Eventually, guilt will find its way into your mind when a loved one passes. This is a normal reaction to the finality of death. Everyone wishes they would have said or did something different when a loved one dies. Do not feel guilty over these things any more than you can help it.

Moving Forward

4. The hardest part of losing a loved one is moving on. It always feels selfish, but it is very important to realize that it is not. Moving on with your life does not mean that you no longer love or remember your loved one.

5. Be sure to celebrate that thing that was special with your loved one on occasion. Everyone has something that was unique to the relationship. You may have loved to pick strawberries at a specific place with your mother. Every so often, go out to the patch and hang out with your mom in your head. She will be there, and you will be amazed at how easy it is to talk to the loved one you lost.

6. Make it a point to set aside time to grieve. One of the best ways to deal with depression is to schedule a time to allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to feel every emotion you can flood yourself with for an hour. Do not hold anything back and literally exhaust yourself with emotions. You will be shocked at how little you will want to grieve afterwards.

7. Finally, let your life be a celebration for the loved one that was lost. Choose something that the loved one cared about, and pick up that cause! Let that part of your life be all about remembering the lost loved one, and you will honor them. It is quite liberating.

Tips & Warnings

• If you are experiencing severe depression or emotions, please consult a mental health professional. This article is not intended to provide professional help in any way.