How to Avoid Holiday Parties

Holiday parties are customary for many people. Many think of them as being a part of a holiday's traditions. While gathering with friends and family is a wonderful aspect of the holiday season, attending holiday parties should never feel mandatory. With a couple of important adjustments you can avoid much of the stress of obligatory holiday parties.

Instructions

1. Begin planning now. Decide which impending invitations you are comfortable with. If that answer is none, then so be it. If you're feeling stressed about the reaction you might get, start with a worst case scenario in your mind and do a little role playing. What is the absolute worse response you can imagine? How would you respond to that? It is almost certain that the worst case scenario will not happen, but by starting at that level emotionally you can diffuse a great deal of stress early on.

2. Decide on an honest but gracious response to invitations you will turn down. Keep it brief, keep it gracious, but make it absolute. Good intentioned people will try to change your mind, of course. This is why your initial response needs to be one that resonates and can be repeated when necessary. After declining an invitation, quickly move to change the topic of conversation.

3. The most difficult part of declining an invitation is sticking to it once the efforts begin to change your mind. In your early planning, you should underscore this issue many times. Then, when the time comes you will have already "experienced" the situation emotionally and can deal with it much easier. Remember that you are simply exercising your right of refusal, and that is always your prerogative.

4. You may be tempted to make up excuses for not attending holiday parties. The problem with this approach is that being untruthful can induce stress and that's the opposite affect that you're looking to achieve. Also, when fabricating excuses you run the risk of actually stumbling in the details or being caught. It is much better to simply pre-plan for your holiday parties, develop a deliberate dialogue, and reinforce to yourself that refusing an invitation is not a rejection of a person. Rather, it is a gracious decline to attend.

Tips & Warnings

• Discuss your plans to scale back on holiday parties with friends, family and co-workers well in advance. Giving them a head's up will help diffuse the situation later on.

• Never feel obligated to attend a party that you feel uncomfortable attending. Trust your extincts, no matter the setting.