How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows (First in a Series)

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Ok, so you have decided that he/she is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with (or at least intend to), and have decided that the next step in your relationship is to make that special guy or girl your spouse. So, what are you going to say to communicate to him/her your love, loyalty, devotion and life-long commitment? Below are some easy tips on how to write your wedding vows.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

Something to write with, something to write on
Quiet time for reflection

Step1

First, think about your relationship over its duration. Pick one event in each category and write it down: a good time, a time where you were both challenged, and the best moment you two shared together. Also, think about the future and what you can give to the other person for the rest of his/her life, and if there are any minor children involved, that you will be active parenting/step-parenting, what you are prepared to do everyday to make their lives fuller. In addition, if you want to share with the world a special surprise (in case she is expecting, you are adopting, etc.) now, would make a good time to state how much of an excellent mother/father the other person would make. With all of these previous thoughts/statements, this is what you will build your speech around.

Step2

Now, decide how you want to open your vows to get his/her attention. Are you planning a humorous statement to lessen the nervous tension? Does the element of surprise play a theme throughout the day/evening (a surprise wedding or elopement) and do you wish to open with one of the key thoughts/statements you wrote down? Think about it long and hard because, while the last thing he/she will remember will probably be the ring, you have got to get that person’s attention in the beginning.

Step3

When you have your opening, make sure you express all of your key thoughts/statements as early as possible, as he/she may either be focused on the ring, or so nervous that they may feel a bit “out of it”. Remember you are committing yourself as a life partner to this person. Show that you both were able to weather the bad times together. Relish in the fact that you both shared the happiest moment of your time together and the fact that you want to share many more moments together. Note that the good times will always outweigh the bad, and when you do have bad times, that your strength as a couple will only improve over time. Basically, get the point across that you have been through good times and bad, but as long as you two have each other, anything and everything is do-able.

Step4

Finally, state your future goals as a couple. Tell him/her why/what you can offer them in the future. Can you offer the gifts of trust, unending love, faithfulness, stability, respect and other key factors in a relationship? Are you committed to being an equal player in your life-long partnership? Ask yourself all of the qualities you would look for in someone you wish to marry and make sure you can deliver and express the same sentiments to the person you are asking to marry. Last, make sure though, you do recognize the children or extended family, as they will play an important part in your new relationship and while you are making the commitment to their mom/dad you are also making a commitment to them.