How to Support a Friend with Depression

It can be hard to watch a friend or family member in pain. If someone you know and love is suffering from depression they need all the support they can get. Though it may be difficult or you may feel as though you don't know the right things to say or do, it can be enough to just be there to try to help them through. Read on to learn how to support a friend with depression.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Understanding of the disease process

1. Encourage your loved one to seek professional help for his depression. One the most ominous things about clinical depression is that though it's obvious to the people on outside that there's a problem, the person suffering may not always be able to see it. Signs and symptoms to bring to his attention include increasing hopelessness and sadness; indecisiveness and difficulty concentrating; changes in appetite and sleep patterns; and conversations about death or suicide.
2. Avoid blame. Your friend already feels bad enough and is probably blaming herself for not being able to "fix" it. It's not her fault, it's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault--most of the time depression is caused by an chemical imbalance and exacerbated by situational circumstances. You can support your friend by learning more about causes of and treatments for depression at the Mayo Clinic's website. See the Resources section below for a link.
3. Be there, physically there. Emotionally, he's going to need a lot of support and understanding, but he may not feel up to going out with you or even talking. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to offer to sit with your friend, explaining that you understand that conversation may be too much of a burden but that you know he may not want to be alone either.
4. Listen without argument or judgment. There's nothing wrong with statements like "I know it seems that way right now" or "I can see how you feel that way," but telling someone they're wrong to feel a certain way isn't at all productive. Just know that the illogical and skewed thoughts are part of the disease process, which make them very real to the person with depression.
5. Share the burden of everyday life. Give your friend a call when you're going to the grocery store or running errands to see if there's anything you can pick up for her or anything she needs done. Depression makes even the smallest of chores seem like insurmountable hurdles--taking some of those hurdles away can be of great relief to your friend. It can also help you feel as though you are doing something of measurable support.
6. Share the burden of support. Create a network of friends and family who can are available to help, if there isn't already one in place. It can be emotionally exhausting to be an encouraging force in somebody else's life while still living your own. Plus, knowing that there are a number of people to count may make your friend feel less guilty about his reliance on you.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid telling a friend to "get over it" or asking when they're going to "snap out of it." Depression is a miserable experience, one that nobody would willing take on. If she could snap out of it just like that, she would.
• Try to be patient. Even with medical treatment, depression can take a long time to lift or even out. Keep reminding yourself that your friend is doing the best he can.
• Call 911 immediately if you feel your friend is in danger of harming himself. Keep a close eye on changes in behavior, especially within the first few weeks of beginning an antidepressant and, if you suspect suicidal ideation, ask him whether he thinks he's going to hurt himself.